This post is in relation to the recent Culture of Modesty that was being preached in sajha.com that SAN dai actively put a stop to.
Sajha.com is not the only place where the need for Cultures of Modesty has gained traction as a movement.

Cultures of Modesty come from a reaction to Cultures of Showing off. We all gravitate to cultures that accept us and run away from cultures that reject us: where we don't feel like the culture gives us a sense of belonging.

Us humans are constantly trying to defend our egoes from being attacked. When we have enough of the nastiness and put-downs from cultures of Showing off, we create cultures of Modesty among people with similar needs to protect their ego.

It's funny how prevalent the culture of Modesty is in Nepal. I feel it is a reaction to the Culture of Showing off in Kathmandu where everyone is trying to look better than the other people around them, at any cost.

Sick and tired of seeing this Culture of Showing Off in Kathmandu, there are people who try to actively create Cultures of Modesty. (This is an over-simplification, to illustrate a point. ) People who cater to the Culture of Modesty are so afraid of out-shining the other people around them. They are so afraid of appearing better than the people around them. It is like they would rather sabotage themself, just so they are accepted by the 'modest group' around them, rather than be ostracized for 'appearing better.'

A Culture of Modesty is against elitism in any shape or form. It is against people taking any form of moral stance that would make them appear better or superior than another person. Of course the funny thing is that the Culture of Modesty itself is a form of elitism and a sense of superiority that comes from 'not appearing better than another person, despite having valuable assets and good qualities.' In other words the culture of Modesty says that there is some superiority in hiding the good qualities you have out of fear that it would offend the ego of people who don't have as much as you do. 
It says that there is somehow something inherently superior in being charitable with your sympathy and not taking a stance that could offend another person. It says there is somehow something superior about being humble and low and desperately hiding any or many good qualities and strengths that you have, because it draws envy from those who don't have as much.

The Culture of Modesty, while being condescending to others, for not giving them enough credit in being able to defend their own ego, prides itself for who it is: the sole blind arbiter of truth and justice. It denies giving other people the responsibility or credit to be able to defend their own egoes in their own way. It denies individuality of any form. And it creates a culture of conformism based on projecting it's own bullying and insecurity tactics on others.

nice ego observation @ babal

Thanks Jwaai. You know sajha is not the only place where I saw this same thing happen.

I remember when I was studying in Budhanilkantha school in Kathmandu...
We all know Budhanilkantha's demographic. Children of the rich and priviledged from the top echelon's of Nepali society are sent to Budhanilkantha. Budhanilkantha's tuition is expensive. And money from this tuition paid by the rich kids is used to give scholarships to the poor and underpriviledged students coming to Budhanilkantha. Teachers from Buds go all over Nepal to test kids aptitude. Kids from poor families that score high on these tests are given full or partial scholarships. The funny thing is that you would generally know the kids who were studying on full scholarship. In a given class, their role numbers would be from 201 to 216 (or 501 to 516). The kids with half scholarship would be from 217 to 232 (or 517 to 532). Then the rest of the kids that pay full price would be the rest of the numbers.

Knowing the prevalent mood in Nepal of chakadi and put downs I'm sure the first batch of poor and underpriviledges students in Budhanilkantha must have suffered a lot. But after a while, it seems that these 'abused kids' changed the culture in Budhanilkantha so that they would not have to feel defensive or second best with their richer brethren.

By the time I had gone to study in Budhanilkantha, the mood was such that if you were rich, you had to be defensive. If someone said, "You are dhani" you had to defend yourself, otherwise you would be the object of much derision and jokes. The priviledged kids would constantly be hiding their parents wealth and status so that they would not be targets. Being good looking was another 'scar' that kids would poke. If you were called "cute" you had to defend yourself. If you were studious, you were a bhabhuk and had to defend yourself or be the object of jokes. But on the whole it was better to be a bhabhuk than to be "cute" or "dhani." This was probably because a lot of the kids from under-priviledged backgrounds were there to improve their economic standing through their education.  So they gave themself 'that license.'

But over-all what is impressive is how these poor kids had the rich kids 'by the balls,' just by changing the culture in Budhanilkantha.

Please go on Babal Khate.

 Liked you post, keep them coming. 

Lol... What was ya roll number babal khatey??

Maybe there is a lesson in all of this for us Nepalese. Nepalese are the "poor kids of Budhanilkantha" in the world stage.
Nepal lives off the donations (and "scholarships") of "richer kids" (richer nations). But just because we live off of their donations, does that mean that we have to look down on ourselves? The smart "poor kids of Budhanilkantha" show how it is possible to be in an economicaly weaker position while being in a morally superior position. These poor kids were brilliant. Just by changing the culture around them, they presented their weakness into a strength. They changed the culture around them so that the symbols that served as a strength and superiority in Kathmandu Culture of Showing Off, became a weakness in the Budhanilkantha Culture of Modesty.

What these kids showed was that just because you are physically and economically dependant on someone doesn't mean that you have to psychologically feel inferior. I feel that what these poor kids in Budhanilkantha were able to learn and apply to their situation, we Nepalese need to learn from and apply it to improve our condition in the world stage.

Certainly, we are not alone in this world. In the world stage, we may be one poor kid from the village of Nepal. But, in the school of the world, there are many poor kids from villages with names like SriLanka, Somalia, Peru, Nigeria, Bhutan, etc. What would it mean for all of us "poor kids of the world" to unite with a common strategy and give the "rich kids of the world" a taste of their own medicine? 

 kudos to you... great writing :)

Ojaswi,

I know that Ojaswi can be both a guy's name and a girls name. I'm guessing by your question that you are a girl. Are you asking for my roll number to find out if they ever called me "cute?"

द्याट्स अ गूड वान खाते, नो वोन्डर ईट टूक यू टू होल ड्याम डेज टू कम अप वीथ द्याट हाउएभर आई याम प्रीटी स्योर द्याट्स नट ह्वाट शी मेन्ट, ईफयूनोह्वाटयामसेइन !
अन अ डीफ्रेन्ट नोट, आई ह्याड अ ग्रेट रीस्पेक्ट फर यू याण्ड योर पोस्टस् म्यान, डन्ट नो ह्वाई द्याट "खाते" लूक्स सो मच बीगर याण्ड बोल्डर द्यान "बबाल" नाउ, याझ ईफ ईट्स ट्राइङ टू प्रुभ समथीङ !

Fat Bista ji,
 
Namaskar. Jun kura dekhera ma bhitra ma chiso paseko thiyo, tyo ta tapai le pani dekhnu bhako raicha. Yo paali ta jhan chaar din po lagyo reply garna I

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neoconservatism

The New Culture of Modesty: Neo-COMMies

http://sajha.com/sajha/html/index.cfm?threadid=94928