PREVIOUS THREAD AVAILABLE HERE

Coz of the 200 posts per thread limit, i have to continue this thread here. 

On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons.Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family’s only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her — how could she possibly continue to feed her family now?

In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself. When the husband awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in the head.

Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself.When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank. She said, “I’ve seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if you will have sex with me five times in a row, I will restore your parents and the cow to you.”

The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to satisfy her again. So the mermaid drowned him in the river.Next the second oldest son woke up. After discovering what had happened, he too decided to throw himself into the river.The mermaid said to him, “If you will have sex with me ten times in a row, I will make everything right.” And while the son tried his best (seven times!), it was not enough to satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river.

The youngest son woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow in the field, and his brothers gone. He decided that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the river to throw himself in. And there he also met the mermaid. “I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right if you will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row.”

The young son replied, “Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?”

The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request. Then he said, “Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?” And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said, “Why not THIRTY times in a row?”

Finally, she said, “Enough!! Okay, if you will have sex with me thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect health.”

Then the young son asked, “Wait! How do I know that thirty times in a row won’t kill you like it did the cow?”

 

Keep it coming buddy. If they don't like it they can skip it.

But yeah, that was a lil funny.

I think there are two radioheads!

radiohead and radioOhead..... one extra O in the centre!! not sure tho...
dhwase !! you are keeping this thread alive.. thumbs up buddy...

one moral story for this thread!!

once a rooster and a cat were walking by the river. All of sudden, cat fell into the river and rooster started laughing!!!!
Moral of the story.... where there is a wet pussy, there is a happy cock.

Man.. this thread rocks.... there will be many Radio trying to change the stations.. Lets just ignore the signals and keep on Rollin' some Bad A%% Jokes.. 

A man was really frustrated of  her wife making  excuses for not having sex. So in a beautiful warm spring day he and his wife are at the zoo. She’s wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), grunting and pounding his chest with the free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow.

The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom, and play along. She does and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall, she does, and Mr. Gorilla is just about to tear the bars down. Now try lifting your dress up your thighs…this drives the gorilla absolutely crazy.

Then, quickly the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and says, “Now, tell him you have a HEADACHE.”

One from My side after a long time 

man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to [Disallowed String for - bad word] your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

I opened this thread after long and good to know that dhwase is still continuing his task to posting the jokes though nobody else post it... I found some interesting jokes by ganapati also and thats makes me laugh because ganapati jee ko naam anusar ko kaam bhayena. Name bhane chai ganapati re ani kaam bhane rated joke post garne.. ki chai Rated ganapati naam rakhnu paryo ..

30years younger wife

Fairy(To A 62 Year Old Couple): I will grant you each a wish.
Wife: I want to travel around the world with my husband.
The fairy waved her magic wand & 'POOF'
Two tickets appeared in her hands.
Husband: I wish to have a wife 30 years younger to me.
The fairy waved her magic wand & 'POOF'
The Husband became 92 years old.

welcome back boulevard dreams, and thanks to kiddo, default061, walkahead and sabaiko satru bro, here is one from me

One day an 85-year-old man was taking a stroll around his hometown, with his grandson  ,  which he has lived in for his whole life. As he sees the landmarks, homes, and streets from his youth, he starts reminiscing…. and says to his grandson  “I remember helping build that bridge when I was 25. I worked hard on that. But people won’t call you  ‘the bridge builder’ if you do that here. No, no, they don’t!”.  He continues "I remember building that house over there when I was 30. But people won’t call you ‘the house builder’ if you do that. No, no they don’t!” .  “I remember building that tavern that I still lounge at when I was 35. If you do that people won’t call you ‘the tavern builder’ either. They sure won’t!” .

And he takes a deep breath and says "“But if you f#ck one goat…….”

These three guys were stranded on this island with no hope of getting
off for a long time. Then this 500 pound guy came out of some bushes
and said "Okay, I give you two choices......death or bongo."



The first guy said, "I have a lot to live for; my wife and kids are at home. I choose bongo."



The big guy takes him aside and they start banging it right there.



The second guy sees this and doesn't think it looks so bad so he
also chooses bongo. Then two 550 pound guys come out of the bushes and
they get it on right there.



The third guy is disgusted by this, so he chooses death. After saying this, fourteen 550 pound guys come out of the bushes screaming "DEATH BY BONGO!!!!!!"

How are women and tornadoes alike?

They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

Hope you guys will like it...

There was this king who owned a horse. That horse always
seems sad. One day this king announced a million dollar prize if anyone could
make this horse laugh. Lot of people tried but
no success. Eventually, a man appeared and told the kind that he could do the
job. King let him try it. He took the horse at a corner of the room and
whispered on his ear. Surprisingly, the horse started to laugh. He laughed for
days. The king got annoyed by his laughing sound so he decided another million
dollar prize to stop the horse from laughing. Many came, nobody successful. The
same man who made the horse laughed and told the king that he can stop the
horse from laughing. The king let him, same as before he took the horse to a
corner did something and wow!!! The horse immediately stopped laughing. The
king was so surprised and asked the man how did he do that. The man hesitated
but the king offered him another million. he agreed to tell him the secret. He whispered
in the king's ear," when I first came here I told him in his ear that my wigee
is bigger than yours. Later, I really showed him ,mine."

Default n pintu, funny as hel l. Could not stop laughing. Make me stop laughing, I don't have a million dollar to offer though

A woman is shopping for a pet as a gift for her husband, but she is concerned that the prices that the Pet Shop are charging are very high. She goes to the clerk and explains her concern. “Well, I have a frog in the back that I can let you have for $50,” the clerk says. “$50?” the woman replies. “That seems terribly expensive for a frog.”

“Well, this frog is worth it. It’s been trained to give blow jobs.”

The woman is stunned, but because her husband loves this sort of sex, and because she is not particularly fond of it, she decides the frog might be a good investment. She buys the frog, brings it home, presents it to her husband, and explains its special value. The husband is skeptical, but promises he’ll give the frog a try that night. The woman goes to sleep happily knowing she won’t be
bothered by her husband that night.

She is suddenly awakened by a clatter coming from the kitchen. She goes downstairs and finds the frog and her husband pulling out pots and pans and poring over cookbooks.

“What are you two doing down here?” she asks. Her husband responds, “If I can teach this frog to cook, you’re out of here!”

A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her
husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that
it was such a good idea.
The doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?"
She said that she did.
He asked, "Does it hurt you?" She said that it didn`t.
The
doctor then told her, "Well, then, there`s no reason that you shouldn`t
practice anal sex, if that`s what you like, so long as you take care
not to get pregnant.
The woman was mystified. She asked "You can get pregnant from anal sex?"
The doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think attorneys come from?"

haha rame bro

 

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife:

Dear Wife:

You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter that I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18 year old teaching assistant. I will be home before midnight.

When he arrived at the hotel, there a fax was waiting for him that read as follows:

Dear Husband,

You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you read this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18 year old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, my love, do not wait up!

lmao

I always enjoyed reading Dhwase's jokes. But I really felt very bad, very sorry to see the picture of that old man. Look at his eyes, somebody is making fun of him and I am sure that old man doesn't know what he is showing. Pathetic!

 

GT bro, lets assume that he is showing those fingers to all those leaders who has fked up everything and everyone in Nepal, no matter young or old ,  and ENJOY THE JOKES

 

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place.

A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again.

The girl has been watching him and says, “You must be a dentist.”

The guy, surprised, says “Yes! How did you figure that out?”

“Easy,” she replied, “you keep washing your hands.”

One thing led to another and they make love.

After they have done, the girl says, “You must be a good dentist.”

The guy, now with a boosted ego says, “Sure, I’m a good dentist, How did you figure that out?”

“Didn’t feel a thing!”

A pen**is has a sad life, his hair is mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is a**sshole, his best friend is p**ussy, and his owner beats
him...

A Doctor recently had a patient "drop" in on him for an unscheduled appointment. "What can I do for you today?" the Doctor asked. The aged Gentleman replied: "Doctor, you must help me. Every time I make love to my wife, my eyes get all bleary, my legs go weak, I can hardly catch my breath.... Doctor, I'm scarred!"

The Doctor, looking at his 86 year old patient, said: "Mr. Smith, these sensations tend to happen over time, especially to a man of your advanced years, but tell me, when did you first notice these symptoms?" The old gent's response was: "Well... three times last night, and twice again this morning!"