शिक्षकः FORD (फोर्ड) माने के हुन्छ ?
बिद्यार्थीः गाडी .....।
शिक्षकः गुड । अनि OX अक्स, अक्स माने ?
बिद्यार्थीः गोरु ।
शिक्षकः गुड । यसरी नै तिमीहरु राम्रो अंग्रेजी पढ्दै गयौ भने अक्सफोर्डमा पढ्न सक्छौ । अक्सफोर्ड भनेको थाहा छ ?
बिद्यार्थीः अक्सफोर्ड भनेको गोरुगाडी सर ।

ट्वाल्ल

एकपल्ट सांसदको आँखा अप्रेशन गर्नुपर्žयो । आाखा नपाएर एउटा कुकुरको आखा हालिदिएछन् । केही दिनपछि डाक्टरले सांसदको श्रीमतीलाई भेटेछन् र सांसदको आखाको हालखबर सोधेछन् । सांसदकी श्रीमतीले बताइन् - अरु त सबै राम्रो छ तर जहाँ पनि हड्डी देख्यो कि ट्वाल्ल हेरेर बसिरहनुहुन्छ ।

On a summer holiday in New York Pradip decided to visit a bar. At the bar, the man sitting on Pradip's left told the bartender, 'Johnie Walker, single.'


Then the man on his right ordered, 'Jack Daniels, single.'


When the barman turned to Pradip for an order, he said, Pradip, married.'

"Michael, If you were on a date, having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the rest room?" the teacher asked.

"Just a minute, I have to go pee", he said.

The teacher replied," That would be rude and impolite. What about you, Paul, how would you say it?

"I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."

The teacher responded, "That's better, but it's still not very mannerly to say the word 'bathroom' at the table."

"And you Johnny, are you able to use your intelligence for once, and show us your good manners."

With little hesitation Johnny said: "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment, I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. Both said they were very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the pain transfer to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor then checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain, and the husband had experienced none. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home they found the UPS man dead on the porch.

you have excellant jokes guys. continue Borntobe wild : you are really wild today. heart or............... touching.

An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Not for nothing, but don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES.
Love Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love Vinnie

nice jokes but Born2bwild i didn't get the UPS thng. thx for all the jokes ^_^

that's because the ups man was the real father of the baby daaaa........?!

little jonney was good!

One day in school, the teacher decides to play 20 questions.

So the teacher says "OK kids, I am thinking of something round, and red"

Little Suzy pipes up "I know, it's a tomato".

"No but you're thinking, it's an apple" replies the teacher.

So Little Johnny stands up, places his hand in his pocket and says "I am holding onto something that is round, hard, and has a head on it"

"Go to the principals office" says the teacher.

"No but you're thinking", say Johnny, "It's a quarter"

Q. What is the similarity between dinosour and good girl?


















---> Both are impossible to find in this day and age.