I thought I had it all……….. I feel so pathetic writing this blog right now. Let me tell you my story.

I was one of the very few people who had a job lined up before graduation in my college. Man, had I ever got so many appraisals in my life? The company not only offered me generous compensation but was also willing to sponsor my H1B visa. I felt like I was living my dream life. I called my parents at 3:00 am in the morning to give them the good news. I could not wait until morning. I am a spendthrift by nature. After I got the offer, I swiped my credit card even more often than ever thinking that I will pay it off once I get my handsome salary. My professors were so proud of me…I could just see it in their eyes…my juniors in college looked upto me and asked me how I did it. I was flying in the air. But wait a minute! Guess what happened last week? The company called me (I was on a vacation with my boyfriend) and took the damn offer back…wanna know why? Coz the damn quota for H1B has been filled for this year. I was numb for a moment when I got this news. That was one of the worst moments of my life. I don’t know how to feel. Apparently, I was just a number for them in their payroll. I was crushed. It took me a while to get over it. I so much wished this to be a bad dream. I could not believe this for a day or two. I was spending money like crazy buying business attire…matching shoes, matching accessories….dreaming about how I want my new apartment look like.
Who knew pain was so close to pleasure?

I didn’t realize I just had the offer not the contract. Some suggested me to take the company to the court. But where are my proofs? Spending money on high-heels? Eating at fine dining? Joy, I could hear in my parent’s voice? Pride, I can see in my professors eyes? I had two options. To swipe my credit card to hire a lawyer or to start looking for a new job. I chose the latter one.

I was browsing Hi5 and Facebook earlier,….felt frustrated. Everyone seems to have it all. I feel like a loser having said that. Seriously, girls in the Hi appear to be slimmer, more successful (working for Fortune 500) and they all seem like they are having so much fun in the pictures. Am I envious? What do you think? They really looked like they have it all….but do they?

I have to rise again. I don’t want people to look at me with sympathy. Enough is enough. I was a great believer of “everything happens for good”….now it sounds so empty. I tell myself this 1000 times a day. I don’t know if I really believe it or I am just trying to convince myself. Anyways…life still goes on……We all have it all once in a while and at times we all going through the bumps. Some face hard bumps some don’t. Amen!!

It wasnt a nun loote, It was my first white gf.Im sure it would have been more fun if it was a nun. I've heard nun's are the screamers.

Don't you have OPT?

Vanisha,
I did some research for you online. Looks like, you might have to consult an attorney to consider other opitons like O-1 visa (Aliens of Extraordinary ability).
Hope this helps.

Punti.. Are you making fun of Vanisha?

oie IMI

hero paltya herana hahahahahahahahahaha

Hari om
Loote

Hero paltai haina,
I seriously feel for vanisha ,kya!! (like you).
I can swear upon you!
hehehehe

Imi
O1 is a valid visa and it is granted to forigen citizens of "extraordinary ability"

like the one you have lfc123 hahahahahahahaha


Loote

vanisha feel pathetic sharing?duh!;oP hehe..

anyways guess that showed ur quite strong eh?;oP hehe..so yeah u got nothn to worry?i mean ..u be alright ;o)...hopefully!:o| hehe..duh!im pessimistic :o| dun mind me :o|

dun we always think we have it all..(tho "all" to me or another might not mean the same fo u or some other)..and later..well..carryn on realisin..we dun have it all?..reality just has a way of kickn us everytime just when we think nothn can go wrong eh?hehe..

and before i end up blabbering(which im already doin eh?;oP hehe..i stopped typin for some mins there..to just think mind u!and not try not to type those things..duh!too much bhakwash :oS hehe)

yes..i do STILL believe "everytin happens for good" if we still try to do good!!duh!it has already happened!!wat else can u do about it?time machine hasnt been invented yet!!yeah i wish it did exist too!!;oP hehe..(hmm this reminds me of a talk back those days with a fren about time machine where i believed and still believe goin back to time shud be possible as it has already happened and wat has been done means it existed once so does exist..so if that exist..if a time travel was feasible..shiit!i bettr type this smwhere else ..bhakwash mood ayo!wahahahah ;oP hehe).....

anyways..yeah dun we wonder smtimes how much can we spend out time wallowin in self pity?..not really pity but u know that melancholic feelns..cos smtimes when we feel it..we just dun really like to get out of it?...once we get the feeln of hurt..we just dun wanna come out of it..cos scares us to be happy again..more happy?and then be more hurt again?..hope scares us eh?;oP hehe..ok ok im really wafflin..dun mind me :oS..hehe

but funny aint it?u went to places to look for more things to make u feel more..shiiit?;oP hehe..i mean lookn at ppl who seemed to have 'all'?subconciously went there?or who knows eh?hehe..and yeah even those ppl who seems to have 'all'..do they believe they do have it all?..im sure me guess is good as urs ..same guess?;oP hehe..and human greed..is there any limit to it?im talkn about mine when i say human hehe..like to associate meself as human ;oP hehe...if not its hard when there are so many things out there which tells us..right in our face.that we are just numbers?:oD..oh well truth hurts..and yet why do we try to convince ourselves it aint so bad as we think it is?hehe

anyways if this might help..do check on ppl u know who dun have it 'all'..wats google for eh?;oP hehe..yeah..dunno about u..but it sure does make me stop whinin(stop for a moment wahahahaa...duh!a whiner will always be a whiner eh?:oS hehe..hope not!!!:o| hope for me ppl!;oP hehe)..cos it makes me realise tho im a number..me number is higher up there than to those millions out there..and i shud be doin smthin with this chance?intead of wastin me life whinin?:oS..but yeah realisin/thinkn is one thing..doin is another?:oS..oh well im tryn!!!:@...

and after readin wat u wrote..im sure ur number is higher than mine!i hope its higher than mine!makes me feel better when somene is higher re kya ;oP hehe...duh!already seen millions below me!!!how much more!!:o| hehe..

plus u mentioned ur bf is there..grab this chance to whine more at him eh?wat are bf for?wahahahaa...he kill me!!if he heard this!;oP hehe..yeah dun go over the limit tho..;oP hehe...thinkin of the scenario..it suddenly feels nice to have a bf..u know..just sit down..put ur head on his shoulder..and rest..cos ur just so tired and hurt..and maybe his arms around u..holdin u?sheesh!im not gay!!!!!!why!!!:o| ;oP hehe..and yeah i shud try applyn for bollywood scripwriter positions..b grade?d grade?wahahahah ;oP

anyways dun mind me here..just saw some similarity..and guess couldntstop thinkin...and had to let out somethings here..just blabbering and wastin database space as always :oD...

yeah life goes on..with or without u..do u wanna go on with it?or be left behind?we have to make our down decsions eh?and live with it?but yeah readin that part that u chose to look for a another job..kinda brought some smile :oD...and is this all true or not?who knows..just like wat i wrote here..do i even care?who knows ;oP hehe..

and believe me..i dun know meself if i really belive in 'everythin happens for the good'..cos feeln good is smthin that comes too easily to me!:@ sooner than later!:@..and yet all i see is so much shiiiit around!!!everywhere!!!..yeah so easy to notice shiit..that we just forget the good things that might be just infront of us?..beside us?in us?..with us?...funny aint it..we have to lose to realise its 'value'!!..and yeah! (telln to me frens now and even meself) gawd!!im tryn to grow up!!!u dunno how much i try to grow up!!follow the crowd u all say!majority rules?...but its so hard!!!esp when freakn hell!!how!!how!!someone tell me how!!steps pls!!!!...convince me!!!!!!i want to!!!believe me!!!!i wanna grow up!!as they say..go with the flow!if u cant swim against it!!im dunno why i am this way!..but i wish i was like how u all wished i was!!!..

oops...talkn about meself :oS..hehe

anyways good luck there..good luck to me too ;oP hehe..

and yeah sympathy..i think i have none for u :oD..hope so nothin i wrote up there reeked sympathy..:oD...cos im scared..the day i start sympathising anyone..it means i do sympathise meself..and yeah im who i am..screwed i might be ;oP hehe..but the day i sympathise meself..just say..im too stubborn to ever sympathise meself ;oP hehe..

i dun really believe that anyone can understand another that much..as much as one shud and wanna be understood..(wet blanket aint i?;oP hehe)...but yeah seeing ppl do try does make me smile ;o)..(got good frens ni!remember them?;oP hehe...its hard to realise they are around when ur in a melancholic mood eh?hehe..yeah that bloody mood!:@..but then again if that mood wasnt there..wat will life be?;oP hehe)

so everythin happens for good?;oP hehe..wahahaha ok i better post and freakn get out!:@...cos im already thinkn shud i post or not for a while...wahahaha..dun wanna freak more ppl u see ;oP hehe..oh well u posted urs..might as well post mine ;oP...

anyways good luck again! to everyone hai :oD..saab lai ni..;o)..
kaam na kaaj..and to think i shud be lyin down today!cos im sick!wahahahah ;oP...so yeah anyone who was gonna tell me to do smthin productive!!sick manchey lai pani kaam garney bhanney!:@ laaj chaina!:@ ;oP hehe...and yeah before a doc comes to say i shudnt even type!!:@..ok ok im goin!:@ sleep well ppl!feeln sick is shiiit!!!:@ hehe..but do we ever listen?even to ourselves?;oP hehe..

good day!:oD

*gone*

?

anonymous,
u just wrote a 5 page essay on this topic? jesus christ!!! will you tutor me for my EN322.

Vanisha,
as dcmitra said, sometimes bad things happen to good people. Dont be discouraged. You learnt a lesson from your mistake didnt you? well all that matters is whether u learnt your lesson or not. This is not the end. Failures come and go, but that dont mean that u stop trying. You can work while you are on your OPT and the problem about the 3 months u not being working legally, if they really want you they know how to work things out. So it all comes to you. Just need few more one-two punch on the door!

sorry if i sound like sympthasizing.

GOOD LUCK

hmm i think she knows what she's doing....i am sure she is smart and she'll put all this behind and move forward in life.

anywyas, good luck vanisha, hope you get your dream job again.

anynomous,
dude! dude!! dude!!!
what the hell are u doing????
.are you trying to write a novel on "VANISHA N TRAGEDY" OR CAN U PLEASE SUMMARIZE WHAT YOU WROTE IN 10 PAGES!!
THANKS!

Take it easy on anonymous guyz, didn;t you read him telling "he is sick"


he he

Loote

anonymous,
i forgot to tell you. could u summarize what u wrote please? i didnt even bother to read that one.

God! you guys are impossible.

Ok slash,
i will summarize that for u in one line:)

"I hate you all ,you bunch of conformists"

To : ImI....thank you!!

To: Others, not all......Good job on turning this to a joke. I must say Nepalese guys have good sense of humor and infact are very creative.

Moral - NEVER POST ANY PERSONAL STUFF ON SAJHA...

hey vanisha.

dont put me in the same coterie as others okaY. i agree that i did post soem light stuffs but i had posted some serious stuffs too, just check my all postings.

the only thing is i cud not stop laughing at some of the guys who were literally pampering u by saying "sweet lips" and stuffs. hehe i still am laughing.

but jokes apart, please read all my posts.

Loote

Start looking for altenatives. When is u r OPT over? Masters is an option. Some prep classes are other options. Talk to HR. If you are flexible you can tell them to relocate you is some other county. If you do not wanna leave US then tell them that you wanna join masters and wanna come back to work with them. May be it will work. Just use any otpions you feel of any remote possiblity.

peace out