पहिलो धागो:

http://www.sajha.com/sajha/html/OpenThread.cfm?forum=2&ThreadID=21060

साथीहरु,

सुरुसुरुका दिनहरुमा लहैलहैमा लागेर सुरु गरेको मेरो कथा "मञ्जु, मलाई माफ गर है!" ले आजसम्मको दौरानमा मेरा ८,५०० भन्दा बढि पाठक (भ्रमणार्थी) हरुको न्यानो माया र सद्भाव पाएको छ। सानदाईको ३०० पोष्टको सिलिङलाई छुन सकेको छ। कयौँ साथीहरुबाट अमुल्य सुझाबहरु, प्रतिकृयाहरु र हौसलाका शब्दहरुले सुसज्जित भएको छ, मेरो यो पहिलो प्रयास। मेरो ब्यक्तिगत ठेगानामा आएका ईमेलका बर्षाहरु त झन् कति भावनात्मक र कति मित्रतापूर्ण छन् भन्ने कुरा यहाँ लेख्ने शब्दहरु नै पाउन सकेको छैन मैले। केहि साथीहरुले मलाई छपाई र गोपनियता लगायत अन्य महत्वपूर्ण बिषयहरुमा अमुल्य सल्लाहरु पनि दिनु भएको छ। यहाँहरुका सुझाबहरुलाई मनन् गर्दै यहाँहरु सबैमा हार्दिक कृतज्ञता टक्राउन चाहन्छु।

प्यारा पाठकहरु,

बिशेषत: पछिल्लो समयमा आएर आशुदाईको अर्कै धागोमा यो धागो संम्बन्धि अ-प्रासांगिक चर्चाले हामी केहि साथीहरु बिचमा केहिसमय सानोतिनो खटपट पनि भयो। सायद मैले उहाँको लेखाई बुझ्न सकिन होला अथवा उहाँले पनि आवेशमा आएर लेख्नु भयो होला। मैले पनि आवेशमै उहाँलाई बिजाउने केहि कुरा गरेँ होला। नठाँटिकन भन्नु पर्दा उहाँबाट मैले सिक्ने कुराहरु निकै छन्। उहाँले पनि सिक्ने कुरा होलान्, पक्कै पनि महसुस गर्नु भएकै होला। अहिले त यी सबकुराहरु बिगत भैसकेका छन। मेरो बिचारमा त यस्तै खटपटहरुबाट त छिटो सिकिन्छ नि, अनि हामी बिचको घनिष्ठता पनि मजबुत हुँदै जान्छ। सबै राम्रैराम्रो कुरा मात्र गरेर त हामी अर्धज्ञानी भैहाल्छौँ नि! भनिन्छ, लोग्नेस्बास्नीबिच झगडा नभएको घर मसानघाट हो। सायद साथीसाथीमा पनि त यो नियम लागू होला नि। यसपाली दशैँताका म काठमाण्डौ जाने कुरा मिलाउँदै छु। यदि सबै कुराले साथ दियो भने र आशुदाईले समय दिन सक्नु भो भने प्रत्येक्ष भेटघाट गरेर नै हाम्रो मित्रतालाई अझ बलियो बनाउने आस पनि छ कताकता। हेरौँ के कस्तो हुँदै जान्छ?

धागोको अन्तिम पोष्टमा जिओगुरुजीले मेरो तर्फबाट सबैलाई दिनु भएको धन्यबाद र मलाई दिनु भएको हौसलालाई म धेरै धेरै धन्यबाद दिन चाहन्छु। पिसेसजीले नयाँ धागो खोलेर मलाई अझै लेख्न घच्घच्यानु भएकोमा पनि धन्यबाद। हुन त पिसेसजी कै धागोमा सुरु गरे पनि हुने हो, तर पनि मेरो आफ्नै नामबाट सुरु गर्दा सानदाईको कन्टेनरमा छिरिसके पछि पनि खोजेर पढ्न सजिलो होस् भनेर मेरै नाम बाट नयाँधागो शुरु गर्दैछु, यसै कथालाई निरन्तरता दिन। समयको क्रमसँगै कथा त निकै नै लामो भयो। अझै पनि लामै लेख्ने बिचार गरेको छु। नेपालमा रहँदासम्मका कुराहरु समेट्ने प्रयास छ मेरो। केहि फूर्सदको समय कटाउन लामै भए पनि मेरो कथाले केहि काम गर्नेछ भन्ने आसा लिएको छु। पहिलेको कथा नपढ्नु भएका नयाँ साथीहरुले फुर्सदको समय कटाउन शुरुमा दिएको लिंक्कमा क्लिक गर्नुहोला।
------
ओके

Mercury,

You are a very speedy reader. You wrote comments within an hour of my lengthy posts. Thanks for reading!

Nikunj,

What do you think about the reality? The adjectives "Attracted towards Sahariya keti", "Awasarbadi", "Money Minded", "Attracted towards rich family" are heartily accepted by Om in the title "Manju Malai Maaf Gara Hai" and in the first post "Mero Bhannu" although he was unware of everything. His biggest mistake was his respect to Ghansyam Sir's family. He has not regretted marrying Menuka but has regretted not getting Manju in his life. Om never wanted to go away from Manju. Om still loves Manju as much as Manju does to Om. Thank you for reading and commenting twice.

Dada_giri,
1. You can describe in detail because you have traveled deep inside a female heart when you were somehow related with Loknath Kaka.
2. The extent of mistakes, in decreasing order, are by Om, Manju and Menuka. There was nothing wrong from Menuka. But after reading this story, she is feeling that she also was guilty.
3. "To love someone" and "to express love to someone" are two different things. In fact, if someone really loves, he or she never expresses. "Expression of love" was taken as "Uttaulo love" or "Superficial love" in the then Nepalese society. I think it is still the same.

Birkhe Maila,
Thank you. Would be great if you add your criticisms and comments. Chautari is always there and I am a silent reader.

Galaab,

Thank you. As I wrote at the beginning of yesterday's posts, the story substantially lacks the details and looks like unrealistic. I am sure once the details are complete, it wouldnot be as it seems now. Unfortunately, I have not got chance to read "Deuta".

MustaineKoFAN,
You are right, Om lost Manju and he is a loser (in different sense). However, he has not lost his way and is still traveling. Thannks for the comment.

Anjeet,
Here comes other adjectives for Om as "Selfish" and "Sold to rich family". That's fine. But the question is whether or not Om knows everything. It seems that he did all unknowingly and once he knew he regretted the most! What do you think? Thanks for the comment,

Miss_me,
Please write few words. I am sure you can write. Thank you.

Aastha,
Om has cried day and night since he knew he did a mistake :). Do you want to read Manju's letter in her handwriting? Om has preserved her letter and it is 8 pages long. I just summarized some parts of letter only. If so, contact me :)


World_Map,
Thank you for the comments. As I said to Gallab, the lack of details made the story as what you categorized as "Hindi Movie". As you all know my story was going nowhere due to its length when I tried to incorporate all details, I skipped a lot and it appears to be little unrealistic. If time permits, I will add more and preserve it for a reading to my son when he will be old enough to understand the story.

hetterika!!,
Hatterika! Although the comments were expected as I wrote: आज मैले सबै कथालाई एकैपटक पेष्ट गर्दैछु। कथा लामो भएपनि डिटेल्सहरु अझै अपूर्ण छन्) yesterday, I really felt that it would have been nice if I added more details. Thanks for the comments.

Jimkg,
Thank you. Would be nice if you write few more words indicating both pros and cons of the write-up.

Bideshi,
If you want to go through all these posts, it really takes a very long time. Alternatively, you can read during weekends. Thank you.

-OK

Read "His biggest mistake was his respect to Ghansyam Sir's family."

as:

" His biggest mistake was his respect to Ghansyam Sir's family that made him too scared to talk about his love even to Manju"

OK

Ok,

that was just great writing. I love reading your stories......

Please continue to write in the future.

Took me three hours yesterday night to complete the Part II as I couldn't stop crying. At last I called my husband and told how lucky I am to have him in my life and that I love him more everyday. Thanks Zillions to god that I did not have to go thro' the situation as Manju did. AND YES GUYS AND GIRLS DO NOT HIDE YOUR FEELINGS...YOU GOTTA TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL....

Ok Ji, I am very sure this story is your real life story.There is nothing that you can change what had happened. You are lucky that you have wonderful women who always loved you. Manju deserves to be respected and Menuka deserves to be loved. Don't let your guilt hunt you down.It's the bad timing. Life is all about moving on no matter what.
My apologizes if I offended you by any means.

Peace

OK bro,
It was a great story. I am assuming it was your real story.
May be that's why it is often said, "lekheko matrai painchha, dekheko paindaina".
In fact, arrival of Manju's father (Gnanashyam sir) on that day was the turning point of your life. In my opinion, it is fault of neither of you all. It is all your 'karma' that wrote this story. Struggle you have done and success you have achieved so far is really aspiring to million of 'OKs' in our villages.

By the way, it appears to me that you and i entered at Pulchowk campus in the same year. Since you stayed at hostel, i must have known or seen you. Reading all your story, i am quite curious about who you could be. Also, it looks like you are geographically very close to where i am right now. I would really appreciate if you could drop me an email with your real ID.

Typo,
aspiring = inspiring

मलाई नि मेरि मायालु को याद आयो

OK Ji,

I am stunned by your writing capabilities. I have already recommended a few of my good friends to read this (should I say an autobiography?). How is Manju now...is she married to someone?

Fate played a very cruel game with Manju. I sincerely wish time will heal her wound.

Take care,

Simon

Forgett_me_not,

It is really good to see you around the story all the time. Thanks for commenting!

Cannabis Jee,
You are an emotional fellow (do not mind hai). I am happy that my story made you nearer to your husband. Om is traveling; sometimes looking back and most of the times running ahead. He hasn't allowed his guilt to hunt him back intentionally. Lets see how it goes! How come you offended me? Never! Thanks for the comments.

Makar Tantra Jee,
We will know each other soon. I am sure you have a very good guess already. Spending time on guess is more interesting than to know at the first place. I am also figuring you out. I am, of course, not Om or OK :). Thanks for commenting.

Ram Kumari Jee (Ram kumar?)
Did you call your "Mayalu" as Cannabis did? If not, please do not be late. Thanks.

Simon11 Jee,
I am glad that you and you loved the story and recommended to your friends. It is in fact a autobiography with fictional names of the characters. Om does not have an answer to your question "How is Manju now...is she married to someone?". I agree that Manju was not only the soul mate of Om but also the main contributor to Om's success. She scarified her whole life for Om's success but Om could not return even a small part of it to Manju. That's why he wrote his story "'मन्जु, मलाई माफ गर है!"

OK

बिगत सम्झनुपर्छ; बिगतको कारणले नै वर्तमान छ। त्यसरी नै वर्तमानको कारणले नै भविष्य हुनेछ। ओमले मञ्जुलाई सम्झिरहनु अस्वभाविक त छैन; तर अब पनि त्यही कुराले तड्पिरहनु, पश्चाताप मानेर बस्नु चाहिं ठिक होइन। कहीं त्यो बिगतको कुराले उसको मात्रै हैन, तीनै जनाको र तिनका भावी पुस्ता समेतको भविष्यमा आँच नआओस्। त्यो फर्केर नआउने भूतले गर्दा अँझै कोर्न सकिने भविष्यमाथि अन्याय नहोस्। कम्तीमा पनि मेनुकामाथि। अखिर उनको त के पो दोष छ र? यदि अँझै पनि ओमले मञ्जु-मञ्जु भनिरहने हो भने मेनुकामाथि ठुलो अन्याय हुन्छ जस्तो लाग्छ। यो कुरा हामीलाई भन्दा ओमलाई नै थाहा होला।

मर्मस्पर्सी विषयबस्तु लामो समय लगाएर, दत्त चित्त भई (त्यसमाथि पनि सित्तैमा) सुम्पिदिएकोमा धन्यवाद फेरि पनि!!

Manju,
I know timi malai maaf garne wali chainau tara I am sorry hai....

It is really really good story. I couldn't stop reading even my baby was crying.
Is it real story ok jee?? The way that you are describing, looks like it is real.

Very very heart breaking.. Keep writing.
best of luck ok jee.

come on ok sir ...come to the point if not ....i dont mind u going out of the track.

I was following the story but it was not completed. Somehow the discussion of this thread went on in one of the phone conversation with one of my friend. I tought it was an old hit, I didnt notice tht it was completed. Now I finished all at once. Well it took me more than 3 hrs as the story is touchy. I know the poverty and remote life. There are a lot of Oks passing through such life and if dice turns to their favor, they will become OK and of not they will become NOTOK living in poverty.
A great story OK. If you have prologue, lets hear. Or write a prologue. People will love them.

ok ji,
I read your story.Like the way u wrote.It's touching & interesting too.After reading all,this is my conclusion.

-Om has come a long way!.He is a good example of how hard work,dedication and ambition as well as luck makes a man successful.It's admirable.

-Feel sad for Manju.She loved a guy all her life who never even understood her even if they were togethe day & night.Who didn't even care to tell her that he is getting a marriage proposal even if they shared everything.

-I feel Om cares for nothing but himself and only himself.When he was climbing stairs,he didn't even stop once to look back .And now after reaching almost at the top floor,he has started missing them.But why?Maybe he needs them now.It's all about him,only him.

-How come he didn't know how she is doing now,whether she is married or not,happy or not.His and her love was different,it was never physical but more than that.Then why didn't he try to contact her or her family?(who treated him more than a son) to find about her.Atleast he should have contacted her dad who was behind his success,who was like a second dad to him.How can anybody stop caring about people like Ghanashyam Sir and his wife who had done so much for him?After all he was only a teacher!How much a teacher can make per month?Even then ,they let him stay in their house,fed him,treated like their own son.He was a man with big heart!Then if Om had so much respect for him,then why didn't he try to contact them to find about Ghanashyam sir and his wife if not Manju?We keep in touch with our loved once.I'm not talking about old flames but Ghana shyam sir was like him family,more than that at one point in his life.

-Now after all this why is he still thinking of himself?Can't he think once for his wife and son?It's sad to know that his wife comes second to him .Looks like Manju was/is always first.Then before marrying Menaka why didn't he tell her he was in love with Manju.Atleast Menaka would have been aware of the fact .She would have decided accordingly.Atleast she would have known that Manju was in your life too.Was Om afraid she would reject him after knowing the truth.

-Manju might be happy now.Time is the best healer.And maybe such a nice girl who only knows how to give has found a nice gentleman.Why is this story in public now without her knowledge?Don't u think that u r trying to purano ghau lai kotyaunu jasto!Why now?

-Finally,I commented since u wanted comment from readers.No offense!U wrote excellent,It's interesting..But I am not happy with Om.I found him awasarbadi!

Heart-touching ending as expected.
Yeah, sometimes life plays a cruel game with you and you can never forget those moments. But past is past..life has to move on. It seems that the character Manju has not been treated fairly in the story but that's her destiny. probably someone has said very correct - "Lekheko painchha, dekheko haina" ...
thanks for the great story, OK dai..

OK जि, म तपाईंको कथा पढ्न ढिला भएँ । पढ्छु भनेर निकै अघी सोचेको भए पनि यस्तै त हो >>> काम्, पढाई।
भर्खर् छैठौं खण्ड् पढ्दै छु।।। हल्ला सुनेको कथा सकियो रे।।
पछि पछि क भाग् पढु भने, अघिका खण्ड पढ्न तेति रमाइलो नहोला। एउटा कुरा चाहि सोध्न मन् लागिहाल्यो>>>तपाइ कि आमा अहिले कहाँ हुनुहुन्छ नि?

OK ji,

I admire your writting skill. It is really a heart breaking story.

Though I came across this thread before, but I did not follow it thoroughly. Today, I managed to read all; I also think that with proper editing this material can be a potentially best-selling book manuscript.

But on other aspects, I wonder how seriously you thought about the privacy matters- not only of your family memebrs but also of Manju's and her parents. Your response to some of the comments says "it is real story except change in character's name", but the name of the place is real, right? So, many can guess who you are!

I agree with some of the observation bideshi made above. It seems that you have high IQ but terrible EQ (sorry, no offense intended!)

Neutral
-------------------------------------

After deciding to express LOVE to MAnju, immidiately accepting Menaka's Proposal was not tasty.In my opinion, I would like to have lil more twist and turn. BY THE WAY HOW MUCH TRUE IS THIS STORY. 100%, 50%, 0%?

२ रात लगायर कथा सके, कति चोटि रोय गन्नै सकिन