Just a short 'survey' for all married folks on here (only married ones please!) : 

1. How old were you and your significant other when you got married? 

2. How long have you been married for? 

3. What do you think is the right age for a man/woman to get married? 

4. Where did you go for your honeymoon?

5. Should one consider each others religion, caste, socioeconomic status etc. prior to getting married? 

6. Is marriage really a 'job' that you accepted, full of promises, hope and excitement at first but a dreadful, boring regimen in the long run? 

7. What are the pros and cons of getting married? (from your experience) 

(I highly doubt there are too many married folks on here, let alone the ones who'd bother replying to this but its a boring Sunday night and thought I'd ask, that's all). 

Here you go boss:

 1. How old were you and your significant other when you got married? 

25

2. How long have you been married for? 

3 

3. What do you think is the right age for a man/woman to get married? 

24-32

4. Where did you go for your honeymoon?

Didn't, was a fresh graduate out of college. Didn't think it was a fiscally responsible thing to assume more debt.

5. Should one consider each others religion, caste, socioeconomic status etc. prior to getting married? 
Being married to a white girl,  In my case, all those factor came into play after marriage and it can be an issue.

6. Is marriage really a 'job' that you accepted, full of promises, hope and excitement at first but a dreadful, boring regimen in the long run? 
No. Fundamentally, all thing being equal (married or non married), I'd still chose to be married because I dont want to die alone. 

 Thx for your reply P. What does "I don't want to die alone." mean though? You don't die together or alone depending on your marital status. This does remind me of a couple that recently died - both husband and wives died on the same day (natural causes). People were saying the bond between the two must've been significantly strong. 

 1. How old were you and your significant other when you got married? 
24 and 20

2. How long have you been married for? 
1 and a half years

3. What do you think is the right age for a man/woman to get married? 
Age doesn't matter, but at least one of you should be able to support both of you.

4. Where did you go for your honeymoon?
 Florida Beaches

5. Should one consider each others religion, caste, socioeconomic status etc. prior to getting married? 
Though I am married to a girl with the same status, I would so no.

6. Is marriage really a 'job' that you accepted, full of promises, hope and excitement at first but a dreadful, boring regimen in the long run? 
Though two minds collide at times, in my case, I got out of my boring mundane routine of work and drunk weekends to a new level. Life has been better for me after marriage. 

7. What are the pros and cons of getting married? (from your experience) 
Pros- you will be responsible, you are being watched over, someone wil be by your side no matter what.
Cons- Less time with your friends, YOU ARE BEING WATCHED OVER, you have to compromise on things that you usually did just because she doesn't like it. 

1. How old were you and your significant other when you got married?
29, 30 (girl is older than guy)

2. How long have you been married for?
it will 1 year this Nov.

3. What do you think is the right age for a man/woman to get married?
man -26/27
women - 24/25

4. Where did you go for your honeymoon?
Didn't have time in the beggining, But then went to Dubai for short vacation.

5. Should one consider each others religion, caste, socioeconomic status etc. prior to getting married?
Yes and No. In my case, I didn't. But you should depending on your family. Marriage is not only about two people living together, especially in our society.

6. Is marriage really a 'job' that you accepted, full of promises, hope and excitement at first but a dreadful, boring regimen in the long run?
I think its the other way around. In the beginning you will always find urself in differnt situtaion, lots of issues and conflicts of interest. Slowely you will learn to accept. However, I feel sometimes ; it is like 'laddu', khaya nii patchya na-khaya ni patchaya.

7. What are the pros and cons of getting married? (from your experience
Do it and you will know. These are hard to expalin and write here

Stupida, I meant to ask you all folks to share your experiences. Marriage, from my perspective isn't an experimenting affair that one could walk into because marriage will be a life-long affair. I've "looked" at and talked to a number of women but as it often happens, 7 years in the US meant that I just don't wish to get tied to someone based on arranged marriage settings but by saying that, I'm not trying to say that arranged marriages are bad though. I found it extremely tough and awkward to talk those women because we all already knew what the purpose of holding a conversation was. 

I should've probably asked whether yours was a love or arranged marriage.

Dissident, I'm really glad that marriage is working for you. We're about the same age (I might be a bit older) and I'm just lucky that I'm over the clubbing/bar hopping mode. I rarely drink these days and I'm very responsible person as the oldest son of the household. I don't really need to worry about 'straightening up' as honestly, I don't really have any 'bad habit' but I just don't wish to get married soon as I haven't launched myself into a career mode, yet. Ideally someone 2-4 years younger than me would be perfect but I'm still undecided on whether to look for a woman or wait until I apply for citizenship in almost 3 yrs and then look for someone. 

Another question I forgot to ask was whether you are together. I know that there are plenty of married couples separated due to visa issues. That's the last thing I wish to be involved in. A cousin of mine actually came to the US at the age of 24-25, and waited till he became a US citizen and boy, isn't he such a lucky fellow. She came to visit us this weekend (she was in town for Bhai tika) and she turned out to be more than what most people could've imagined. Decent, sushil, caring, good looking, educated ,witty - all in one package. 


All in all, thank you all for posting your replies. I wish to get married in another 12-36 months (my own business venture, immigration issues like visa status of my future 'significant other' will play a key role, but here's hoping... 

Hope I'll get to hear from other folks. (where are all the married ladies ? Lets hear it out from the women's perspective too, shall we?) 

1. How old were you and your significant other when you got married? 
not married yet. prolly gonna wait 5 more years

2. How long have you been married for? 
N/A

3. What do you think is the right age for a man/woman to get married? 
man-26-29
women-20-25

4. Where did you go for your honeymoon?
i will either go to iceland or newzealand (weird huh)

5. Should one consider each others religion, caste, socioeconomic status etc. prior to getting married? 
It depends on you. For me it matters for a healthy relation (but there is always an exception)

6. Is marriage really a 'job' that you accepted, full of promises, hope and excitement at first but a dreadful, boring regimen in the long run? 
Ask me this after 10 years from now

7. What are the pros and cons of getting married? (from your experience) 

I leave it too married folks

(I highly doubt there are too many married folks on here, let alone the ones who'd bother replying to this but its a boring Sunday night and thought I'd ask, that's all).

  @ cajunboy 

1 .  Me - 21      her - 22

2.  4 n half years

3. depends upon personal circumstances, in my view there isnt right age, it depends  on many different things

4.  got married in nepal.... so the usual honeymmon destination, pokhara 3 nights, 2 nights in sauraha one night in manakamana

5. i married  my childhood sweetheart, thankfuly we both were of same caste, religion, social class, back ground. In nepali culture, these things do play a significant role as you dont get married to a person but his/her family. it works better if they both are from similar background.

6. I wont define marriage as job.
     So far its been a joyful ride...

7. pros...... settled life style, less to worry about...
     cons ...... marriage it self could be expensive, lifestyle changes which could be expensive, cannot make snap decisions

 म परेँ बाइस, उनी चाइने बिस

Footyafan Ji, sorry for my late reply, I hardly check sajha from home, so here i am at work. No matter - love or arrange, marriage is a marriage - promising each other to stay together for life long in both - hard and smooth times. Mine was arranged marriage, but then you can say it was short love too. I always wished that I wanted to marry someone that my family brought the proposal, which my brother did.
Believe me marraige is an experiment, now it depends on two individuals to make that experiment successful. If this was not true, then how come two ppl, living together for several years, and getting finally married gets divorecd in few yeras again. they were supposed to know each other fully, and understnd each other completely. But this doesn't work. People change. Time change. The person will not be same for many many years. people change, and so does your wife and husband. Just you have to learn to accept those changes. Changes are good in many instances.
I understand, your concerns about arrange marraige. I know its hard and akward talking to somone you are trying to get married. believe me I have been through  it. Everytime I rejected or my family I felt sorry and wished that i didn't do it. When I got one, I felt the same. But then its better to give pain for few days than for the rest of the life.
Finally, Marraige are destination. at least for me. I believe they are made and they are meant to happen with someone that is alreday there, no matter what you do. My wife and I just saw the picture in FB for the first time when I got the proposal, and we only talked once ( for 2 hours). She used to live in another country outside of nepal and I used to live in USA. Then after 4 months she send me a small email ' how are you?' then things really get started. But then , within those 4 months I almost got fixed with another girl, We were close to find the date, but at the last moment things didn't worked out. so here I am married with the girl that my destination was.
BTW, other important things to consider are what is imporatnt in your marraige. for us was togetherness. We both had a good paying job. She used to make as much as I, and that was around $ 5000. But then I was planning to leave USA and go to her and find job there. But then she decided to quit her job and came to US. and She did. This was imporatnt to us not money.

One last imporatnt thing - Don't try to find the best out there and don't look for perfect one. Make ur list, and see what you really want. And finally accept the faults and inperfections. There you will find the peace and happiness. Its the partners who makes the marraige successful, not any things else.
and sorry for this long reply, usually don't write that much in sajha, but i enjoyed this one.

dups post

dups post.

I married 24 yrs old lady when I was 31.

I think folks should get married when they are 25/26 and girls 22-26.
married for over 7 yrs.
with 2 kids.

broke up with my gf here in US. Had to visit nepal next year. Was single and not mighle at the time.

mom insisted to get married so saw couple of girl even I had no intention to get married.

i happen to find my wife. she was what I have been dreaming. what a beauty.. I could not think anything other then my wife. She was studying in KTM. I met her and had couple dates. we liked each other and got married almost a month later.

Never ever thought that arrange marriage can be this much beautiful, what a life.

I now think I am luckyest person to get married with my wife.

If i was with my df, I would be crying my whole life.

I heard that she is still studying .. heehe I have no idea, how long she will study. I think she is now near by 35 yrs old.

well, no comment about her...

we both work in a professional field.

Our life is beautiful.....

 Thanks for your replies guys. 

@ Gyanguru, Glad that you got married to the woman you loved. Pokhara and Sauraha huh? Awesome. 

@ Stupida dai, Thanks for your lenghty post. I could've probably asked the same questions to my own cousins, dijjus etc but then I thought they wouldn't tell me all their stories. Sometimes, you feel more comfortable to express your feelings and sharing your experiences when you're talking to a stranger. I didn't mean to imply that I rejected a number of women because they werne't the perfect matches. In a traditional western way, one could afford to experiment, get to know each other well enough inside out - not only emotionally but physically,too. I mean, imagine a guy and a girl getting married and the girl turning out to be a horndog while the guy had no sexual desire but would rather spend time meditating or doing bhajan kirtan. But again, as a Nepali guy, I don't think experimenting prior to marriage will really work for us albeit a number of folks currently in live-in relationships have done it (some did it wisely, some didn't - you know who you are). 

As for me, I don't mean to come out as someone who's looking for the perfect girl (32 teeth, cutest face, 36-24-36, dark hair, great attitude, great smiley face etc) but rather - I meant to say that I didn't think we'd click and hence I backed out immediately. There's this girl who added me on Facebook (she got my pic via somebody else) and despite her being pretty, nice and so on (based on how others write on her wall, her own comments, her statuses etc - some might disagree but one's FB wall does reflect his/her personality imo) but man, I just can't get myself into talking to her about things about "us". Same could be said about a number of girls I met. There was this girl from a nice family, well educated, working professional and not only my mom but some close relatives actually went to meet her. In a typical Nepali setting, I suppose it equated to her having been 'picked' but for some reason, I just didn't think we were compatible (wasn't probably wise because she and I never really spoke on the phone and we only exchanged some emails) but once I stopped replying to her email, I felt so bad. Matter of fact, she had her friend living elsewhere add me and she must've wondered what was wrong. 

But You are probably right. Instead of looking at imperfections, faults and bad qualities, working upon the good ones would be a wise thing. I'll keep that in mind. I'm at the primitive stage of my own career and I'm not sure what I really want to do (thankfully I don't need to worry about status issues or even earning a ton of money right now) but it is probably one of the reasons why I'm not wishing to get married anytime soon (as in 3- 12 months) but who knows... 

@ Peacesoul dai, thanks for your post. I'm really glad that things are working out properly for you and is actually encouraging for the ones who might seek the route of getting tied via an arranged marriage setting. But dai, I don't think its wise to foulmouth your ex. I feel for women who get dumped at the age of 22 plus because very few women have the strength to stand up and move on. There are a few who do it perfectly but some just can't seem to be able to do it but anyway, maybe you have a valid reason to feel that way about her. 

Thanks for your replies (again). Still surprised to see women hesitating to come out and share their take about their marriages. 

You mentioned the great point here - "I meant to say that I didn't think we'd click and hence I backed out immediately."
Just make sure, you click . This was very important for me. In my words, I used to say to my family - 'kti yesto usto jandina me, teyo ghanti chahi bajnue parcha.'  ani viha garchu.
Don't worry, the day you click, you will know it. It it happen in its own natural way.

haha. Well put.

 1. How old were you and your significant other when you got married? 
Not Married 

2. How long have you been married for? 
N/A

3. What do you think is the right age for a man/woman to get married? 
man: 26-29..woman:23-26

4. Where did you go for your honeymoon?
Speaking for myself Paris.. 

5. Should one consider each others religion, caste, socioeconomic status etc. prior to getting married? 
Arranged yes.. love i guess not!!! 

6. Is marriage really a 'job' that you accepted, full of promises, hope and excitement at first but a dreadful, boring regimen in the long run? 
If one starts to take it as a job then it's defn goin to be boring...

7. What are the pros and cons of getting married? (from your experience) 
I'm yet to explore..

Woman's Perspective:::(just a try)
 not married but I can surely talk about my perspective.. Arranged marriages...well not being in a relation and being in a certain age can be quite pressurizing.. talking to somebody arranged is equally awkward.. Well when both the families are involved obviously you try to maintain the standards as in cultural traditional way.. who wants their family to have a bad name.. and moreover people can be judgemental and u knw how things spread like wild fires in nepal..being a woman you have to think alot about tht.. so here comes the problem about clicking.. how can u click when both the parties are not real( doesn't mean u r faking but i guess u knw what i mean)..For arranged marriages the criteria's are set..old schooled i.e.well the whole idea is boring..

  Somebody once had given my number to a guy and he had called...(well the convo is quite predicatble too) I am pretty sure you some of you guys have gone thru it.Here it goes: (PS: not making fun out of it.. just my feelings)

Man: Hello this is bla bla speaking..
Me: hi. how are you?
Man: thikai cha..timro k cha? ani all those questions...whr  r u? whats ur major? what is ur plan..bla bla bla..
................................................................. formal one's..
Man:So do u drink? 
Me: yea once in a blue moon.. kahile kahile.. (:P).. what abt u?
Man: yeaa same thing..
Me: do you smoke?
Man: not really.. occasionally.. timi?
me: no...
(awkward situation)
me: actually i have a class at 5..i gtg..nice talking to you..
   
               Typical right??? and from then I have been avoiding this thing.. Clicking is very important but I dont think you get that option in arranged marriages.. until and unless someone breaks the ice... well the qualties that I seek in a man is different from what my parents seek (obvious).. I want some one who is direct and speak up his mind... someone who stands by his princlples... responsible ,mature and caring.. I don't care if he does pot or anything.... if he does it in limit then its fine.. but he should have guts to say tht to me atleast.. someone honest enuff with whom I can be myself and thts it.. the day tht happens I will plan my happily ever after!! 

Interesting post, dumbfounded and I can certainly relate to your own experience. I actually had women email, message (on FB) and even call me (in Nepal). It was really awkward and the reason is something that we could all relate to - we all know what the purpose is, we're just trying to complete the formalities (subject to the two of us clicking, that is). 

From my own personal experience, I could say that it was even worse to meet in real, maybe because I just wasn't ready and willing. Matter of fact, I was emotionally blackmailed to meet these women and the convos were really awkward. "So what do you do for fun?", "What kind of music do you listen to?", "What are your career plans?" yada yada. How'd I know that she'd not be bitching at me for watching soccer all morning on Saturdays and Sundays like I normally do? 

In any case, I'd much rather talk/meet a stranger, make friends and then one day propose to her if she'd marry me. But like you've agreed and I've already said, clicking is important. Compromising a few things here and there after marriage is understandable and probably a necessity.

But I'd rather, I knew my wife-to-be well enough before she waled down the aisle instead of discovering/knowing her after getting married.  

footyfan dai, thanx for starting such a nice discussion. I hope you get married soon...but dont try too hard though!! It looks like a common problem mostly with Nepalese abroad....you really dont have ny option beside going thru that krazy weird idea of geetin arranged unless yu stay in some places that has considerable Nepalese population. I have seen so many people I knew going back home, getting married....and if they couldn't brought 'em ova here in time....then thats the point it gets real krazzy.....gawd they skype like all nite myan....seriously.!!