आज फेरी मेरो जिन्दगी अस्तब्यस्त गर्न आएउ तिमी..

फक्री सकेको थिए म फेरी निमोत्थेर मिलैकौन आएउ तिमी ।
 जिन्दगी खुशी सँग बचेँको नै थिए आज अचानक फेरी पुरानो घाऊ बल्झौन आएउ तिमी ।
सोचेको थिए अब त तिमीले रुवाअने दिन गयो होला भनेर  तर फेरी काडा बनी घोच्न आएउ तिमी ।

के गरिन सँगइ साथ मा हुँदा?
 तिम्रो दुक्ख मा साथ दिए, सुक्ख मा हासी दिये
तिमी रुदा म पनि रोए, तिमी हाँस्दा म पनि हासे
तिम्रो बाटो मा आउने हरेक बाधा अद्चन लाई पन्छैदिये
आँफै भोकै बसी तिमीलाई खुवएकी थिए
आफु कंगाल बनी तिमीलाई हेरेको नै थिए
तर आज एतिका बर्ष पछी तिमीलाई मेरो याद आयो
अनी फक्री सकेको फुल लाई फेरी निमोत्थेर मिलैकौन आएउ .  
 
नाता कुतुम्ब सबैले हेपिएको मान्छे तिमी
साहरा बनी मै उभिएकी थिए
तिम्रो पढाई, खर्छ, रमाइलो सबै मैले धानेको नै थे
दुक्ख लाग्यो चिनी धेरै खायो भने तितो हुन्छ भनेको सुन्दा
रुदै रुदै बसे आफ्नो बिगत का दिन सम्जिदा
आफ्नो अंुल्य समयए, बुवा आमा लाई झुत्तो बोली तिमीलाई सहयोग गरेको सम्जिदा आज भक्कनो छुत्छ
तर बिगत लाई के सम्जिनु भनी आज सम्म खुशी थिए
तर यो खुशी अनि तिमीले देखी सहेनौ
र आज फेरी मेरो जिन्दगी अस्तब्यस्त गर्न आएउ तिमी
फक्री सकेको थिए म फेरी निमोत्थेर मिलैकौन आएउ तिमी........

मेरो पहिलो प्रयास, गल्ती भको थौमा सचाइदिनु होला.....
 

Good one! Do not get disheartned. Looks like you're suffering a tragedy. Don't worry! Tragedies make you bold and helps you move further! 
Hugs!!
Uhi....
Ghorle Boko

Thank u so much for ur kind words ghorle_boko. I'll overcome wid it soon.
Thanks to the 2 lovely ladies...chiya and samikshya, u guys r close to my heart and also I cnt just stay without thanking Geology tiger, I learned from u...

पहिलो प्रयास एकदमै राम्रो छ ....

मेरो एक दुई सुझावलाई साकरात्मक रुपमा लिन्छौ भन्ने आशामा

हमम पहिलो कुरा तिम्रो रचनाले भन्न खोजेको कुरा, सुनाउन खोजेको कुरा के हो त्यसमा केन्द्रित होउ... अङ्रेजीमा भन्छन् नि थिम भनेर

अनि अर्को कुरा भन्न खोजेको कुराहरुलाई सिलसिला मिलाएर लेख...

अलिकती ध्यान शब्दचयनमा देउ....

अनि अलिकति शुद्दतामा ध्यान देउ....

तिम्रो लेखनप्रयास जारी रहोस् र हामी तिम्रा उत्कृष्ठ रचनाहरु पढ्न पाइरहु ... तिमीलाई शुभकामना!

गज्जब राम्रो छ - नाइस वन

GT, thank u so much for ur suggestion. I never did this before so I dnt hve a single clue abt it. But I'll definitely try my best n do wht u said to me..thank u bunch

Love
Peaceinheaven

Dhanyabaad serial ji :)

सिनिएर बोका के के न पायिएला भनेर नाइस वन रे अझ कत्तिन !
पिसइनहेवन : मैले अन्तिम पल्ट कबिता पढेको चै मलाई थ्यक्कै थाहा छ, १० कछ्या मा बालक्रिश्न समले लेखेको इछ्या, तेस पछी मैले कुनै कबिता पढ्नु नि पर्या छैन, म पढ्दा नि पढ्दिन, तर कमेन्ट हेर्दा तिम्रो कबिता ठिकै छ जस्तो लाग्यो !

फ्यत बिष्ट !

@NAS: Sajha ka Sabai sushil kanyaharu afnai matrai howun vanne lagchha hai? Yo dekhera samikchhya le k vanli?

@NAS...haha I do remember wht u said to me on dat day.. Tauko kakha maa rakhi Ani khai k khai k...lol. But ma teti bela kabita korna gaki thiyena, yo ta Aja Kai ghatna ho ra ajai lekheko. M sad :(

@fat beast, thanks anyways :)

great one keep writting.. al the best

Crazynep, thanks buddy but m not good at writing. Dis just came up wid a true emotions and feelings and I wrote it down..I'll try my best to write some more in future..let's see :-)

 Wah bhai wah! 

@peace in heaven. Nice writing. If it's real story, then i feel for you. Been there, done that :-).

As per my experience, my advice would to get yourself engaged with other stuff like studies, sports or even gym.

You should take him out of your mind.

Never lose hope and bhanchani, dekheko haina lekheko paucha re kya.


Keep your spirits high.

Peace

Sirus_Me

Sirus_me, it's a real story :(
I was happy but all of sudden dis happened again. M so pissed off but yeah I wnt loose my hope...thank u so much for ur suggestion. I do appreciate :-)
Yeah true dekheko hoina, lekheko paucha. Heru k lekheko cha :-)

Peaceinheaven

 Peaceinheaven, here's a song for you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LanCLS_hIo4

 footyfan, dts a nice one.....thank u bunch 

@Peaceinheaven: Are u ok my sister? The way u wrote seems like u r in pain or u broke up with someone recently. Dear, don ever look at ur past. What's gone is gone. U know its easy to hurt someone but its hard to get healed. If he had hurt u then its better to move on ahead without looking to that person coz u need to show him that u can live without him....n u r the most beautiful and best person. He doesn't deserve u anymore. U are still young and u have to achieve so many things in ur life and be a better person, daughter and someone's wife in future.   Im pretty sure u will soon get a most dashing, smart, loving guy soon with full of love..............❤❤❤❤❤......
Love u my sister...

 Lastai senti cha ta. Bless your poor heart PIH. This is no point in looking back and regret about the things you have done. Be glad it came across you and its gonna make you tougher and stronger. Happy Vijaya dashami!!

@Sami, ur words always makes me happy :-) M strong enough sista, jhina masina kura haru aairanchan...will msg u sista...love u dearie <3

@busenitz, lastai senti cha hai :p