ओहो स्रिधर जी, 

मित्र,
प्रेम छ, टाढा चाहिभाको हो !
सुझावको लागि धन्यवाद छ ।

Marriage has become a market and girls have become commodities. Let the best man win.

Its sad to hear your story. I would confront her parents and try to convince them that their daughter's happiness is worth more than money and status........

If you cannot leave her, ask her to wait a year (or so ) until you get job.

 Ask her to be a "Loyal girfriend" and ask her to convince her family so that you guyz can get married later .

Good luck brother,
Bihey ma sabai sajhali lai bolaunu

vaadgaule,
thanks for your words. I am trying in convencing, but sonetimes it is difficult, just because i am away from them.

I hate when this "status" thing becomes more powerful and "education" becomes shadowed. Her parents are mistaken if they do not see any future in you because of your status. Why don't you go home asap, try to convince them, and if they do not agree elope with her. Good luck!

Grenade,
I would go home soon, but middle of semester But I'm going as soon as I finish it.
thanks for your comments.

I guess, her family is looking for a unpadh gawara dv lottery winner instead of highly educated .

SriDhar,
thanks for sharing yr story,a friend of mine situation was the other way round- 1) boy's family denial against the girl. ---2) but now similar (as the boy still considers getting her back ... !)
the boy's family 'no' was- becoz of potentially having to stay separate for 2 yrs (both abroad in two diff countires, girl studying boy working) and later due to astrological reasons. it was fully arranged and later had turned into a kind of love, after chatting everday for almost 1.5 months emails, chats, phone, webcam etc..both liked eachother, both families happy.. girl/boy and ready for the next step, bought tickets to come home to physically see each other too..but somehow the astrological rasifal thing ruined it (though they were yet to see eachother, have meetings between families etc..u know the 'keti herne, keta herne' thing)...god knows if they wud have said 'no' after seeing eachother, but the rasifal thing came into play first. ..........AND the thing stopped right there..no official communication but, it kinda of ended there. (the boy too had shared his reservations about having to stay separet for 2 yrs has an issue..was still thinking..and the rasi thing came..the girl really loved the boy ! and the boy too)
they are stil in touch, chat sometime, speak over the phone, though obviously the talk ends in satarical way of telling both to find somebody better :)

the girl is good. and a loyal daughter too. she thinks the 'no' and its improper communication (at the parents level) hurt her families and even herself...the boy on the other hand 'just believed in the destiny' so accepted the family's decision, after all it was an arranged marriage.

NOW, the boy realizes that it isnt' easy to find a 'good girl' and keeping the rasifal thing aside thinks if he can get her back (and then work on teh 2 yr thing, proly go join her)....there is a good chance the girl will not say no- AS LONG AS teh family goes and apoloiges to her family and starts the talk fresh again.. n the prestige issues comes in. so the boy has to go and talk and convnice the girl's parents first.
and ofcourse get the girl back before she starts to see others !

so somewhat almost yr situation, but the diff is the boy cancelled it first and wants to get her back again ! (BUT going to somebody he said no initiallyo to ???) 

so what do you guys/girls say ?
what shoudl by fren dO ?
is it OK to go back to the girl, once you have alreday refused ? apologize to the family and start over agian ?
will this 'refusing first, accepting later' thing impact in their life later ?
OR
should he find somebody else and marry without thinking too much ?

 hope this helps you to think about yr case. though your seems more of a economic status issue for the girls' parents- who knows..and very possible- that they might have got a better offer for their daughter ..
good luck

 

 नेपाली केटि हरुलाइ जस्तो री-ल्यास मैले अरु कुनै देसमा छ जस्तो लागेन ! हुदा हुदा पी -एच -दि पनि भएन, सिटि जेन शिप नै चाहिने !! अनि अझै they wants the equal sharing in everything like we do.

Siridhar bro...
I have not read any of the comments here.. i dont want to coz i may be biased once i read those.....

My experience....
I used to like a gal... had similar situation.... gal wanted to drop me saying she is a loyal daughter...... i took her word.... had faith in what she said... and respected her decision.......
three years down the road.... she eloped with another man....  so the real deal is... did she ever had feelings for me???  it was the same gal who dropped me being loyal daughter... and then after three years eloped.....

My answer is - dont waste ur time pulling this relation together.... you deserve better treatment than this... have some self respect,,,,,, think of your family.... make ur life happier,,,, this is what matters the most,,, you, your family...... not  a gal you met couple of years ago.... do not ever think of asking your parents go and beg for that gal..... it will hurt ur parents and demolarise them !!! for everything they have done to you, please dont do that !!!

When I knew that she eloped, I was so frustrated...i could hardly control myself...........
in that frustrated mood,,,, I decided to get married.....
I got married to my childhood fren, four years into marriage I am the happiest man alive...... this is the best thing that has happend to me in my life........... I am happy,,,,,,,, my wife is happy,,, my family is happy,,, i am a loyal son who made my parents happy.... i have a wife who loves me so much....

Believe me you wont loose anything by loosing that gal.............. Take my word !!

 It reminded me my cousin who was then in this top graduate program doing his phd. Really smart man, but lacking in romantic skill. I always thought the girl who would be with him would be a real classy babe.

One day I was shocked to know (from his father) that a girl in KTM actually rejected him, and their family were behind the reason. Since I knew the famaily of the girl too, I found out that they were looking for a man with a greencard. After two or three years, my cousin ended up having a choice of a professoriat and a job with an INGO. The girl's family too found someone with a greencard, a programmer in mideast with a degree from a college there. Not a bad choice, but still..

I still think that a lot of people in Nepal have no ability to make 'speculative investment'. Investment in a PhD student is speculative, while a job holder is a 'sure' thing. Furthermore, I have realized that if no one in a person's family has done PhD, they are even less likely to think highly of PhD-holders.Of course, not all PhD programs have similar prospect, but to differentiate between different phd programs, you need well educated parents or girl.

 At the end of the day, however, people should marry wherever they feel comfortable. What can we say?

===

Also, in your case, I think the girl doesn't want the relationship anymore. It hurts, but you should realize it. When women want to be cruel and selfish, they can be extremely cruel and selfish. Always remember this.

 She is not worth it. 

Gwad its really hard to believe. Do those people even know what the hell PHD means. Let me adk yu something.. Hw old are you? M asking coz if its not to late for yu to get

Lmarried wait for a while, get your
phd, find a job get that bad a** card and marry a someone from their neighbourhood. Don't forget to send them the invitation with the copy of yur green card....lol
TAKE IT EASY

Don't brag about PHD, i think her parents are doing what they should be doing. What do you think you'll do with you Phd in US ? When will u get ur Green Card ? When can you bring her to United States after you get married. 
She doesn't wanna be left in Kathmandu after you get married. . . Everyone knows how US Embassy is....So i think her parents know the situation very well....
What are you doing your Phd on ? Is it really worth it ? Are you doing it just to maintain your Status ? Then it's not worth it... Guys with just  Bachelor degree in Computer Science (IT) are well settled in US and making 80k-100k already and they've Green Card Citizenship by now.

By the time you complete your degree you'll be old, and depending on the Subject you might struggle making 80k-100k and Green Card is Far away. ..

Don't overestimate yourself saying you're doing your Phd......You're nothing.

NOt worth it..if she had loved you c would have been with you..kasto kasto situation ma ta bihe garchan..If i was in your position i will say move on ..n alone u,l find the one who love for what you have ..in this case they want something u dont have ..so brother hold yourself be strong n u,l find one who appreciate education..u r doing your PHD n you need someone who know the value of education n respect . all the best.. !!