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dallasguy
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Posted on 01-13-11 9:30
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This is a very sad story about my life. I was a happy guy living with my gf in dallas for several years. we used to have occasional fight but again, we used to make up. But last time, we fought really bad and I moved to houston. After sometime, we again patched up but she told me that she had a brief fling with another guy during that time and he really soothed her and supported her and ended up sleeping with her. I am confused, did she cheat on me or not? I admire her honesty as she told me the truth. Still, she loves me a lot and I love her too. but should I be back with her? I also feel guilty because some time back, when we had a quarrel, i had also slept with couple of hookers. I dont know what to do....should i accept her and tell her about my one night stands? I know this is US, but being a traditional newar guy, I cannot forget about her brief relationship with another guy. Everytime we make love, just the mere thought of her being banged by another guy during my absence drives me mad. Am I being hypocrite? please serious suggestions only.
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sajhababa
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Posted on 01-13-11 9:55
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Yes, you are being a hypocrite.
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lapid
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Posted on 01-13-11 10:38
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most often i dont comment in sajha but this guy drove me crazy to comment on it. sorry to say but u r such a jerk. friends of mine once told me wherever u go, your attitude also goes there with u so keep the attitude high. This is not about what u and she did, this is about yr sick mentality. Do you think there is any moral ground to ask whether she cheated you or not. I m not saying she did right or wrong, my concern is your sick mentality that visualize " NARI KO PARAPURUS SANGA KO SAMBANDHA CHAHI PAAP, PURUS KO SAMBANDHA CHAHI BAHADURI"
She is far more intellect and honest than you. you r such a fickle lover hiding own misconduct and nagging others.
I strongly disagree the sentence you wrote " I know this is US, but being a traditional newar guy, I cannot forget about her brief relationship with another guy". Where u live does not make things different, what you think makes the different. if u cannot forget her relationship with other guy, how could you forget yr own relationship with hookers??? is it just because you r a boy
Yes you r hypocrite, u find the perfect word for yourself. sorry for the words but this is what that came into my mind after reading your thread.
suggestion: accept the reality, tell the truth, if u both feel like we can move on together then go for it. Three finger is pointing towards you while one finger is pointing others.
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zip26
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Posted on 01-13-11 10:40
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no one can help u in this condition..its very complicated...u can talk with that guy ...remember dont fight..be a gentleman..talk straight ..dont sound rude...and ask him...but dude u are still in confusion..that guy can lie tooo........final choice.....trust her or leave her...
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purana kagaz
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Posted on 01-13-11 11:30
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By the way Dallasguy, I was the one who banged her :)
Get a Life dude....
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zip26
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Posted on 01-13-11 11:34
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ANS
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Posted on 01-13-11 11:43
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The factor you are missing to attach a name here is called 'Ego' in English. It is that ego which is there inside you, and it can get worse in future. There are very few people who can get control over it, and it is through 'self forgiveness' for your own mistakes. If you can do that- you both guys can live together.
But think practically, if you can not manage the 'ego' factor, you guys should think again. Sorry to say - but from your writing - It is evident that, you won't be able to 'trust' her in future,.... this ghost of feeling of her sleeping with another guy will be chasing you forever and it has hurt your 'ego'.... and this will create the problem for you guys in future.
FYI, there are five stages that ultimately leads to a breakup.
- Dissatisfaction — one or both partners grow dissatisfied with the relationship.
- Exposure — both partners mutually become aware of the problems in the relationship.
- Negotiation — both partners attempt to negotiate a solution to problems.
- Resolution and transformation — both partners apply the yield of their negotiation.
- Termination — proposed resolution fails to rectify issues and no further solutions are accepted or applied.
..and you are in between stage 3 and 4.
I know, these words might sound harsh, but certain facts are bitter and we can not run away or ignore the problem..
Last edited: 13-Jan-11 11:45 PM
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kalo_chasma
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Posted on 01-14-11 12:35
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leave her dude..she is a bitch..she will sleep with another guy when u will have another fight in future!
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quern
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Posted on 01-14-11 12:39
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dude, above all, get checked for STDs since u slept with hookers.
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amricane
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Posted on 01-14-11 1:19
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I strongly agree with lapid , you called urself tradiational Newar guy ?? where was your tradition when u were fu**king hookers ??
Girl was honest to tell u truth and she did not slept with "couple " of guys as u did (you said you slept with couple of hookers ) !!!
If she was going to cheat with you , she would probably never told u truth ! she is honest girl dude ! don't leave her !
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furke
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Posted on 01-14-11 2:12
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Dude, you r screwed! The best thing I can suggest you is stay away from her for at least a year and also do not hook up with other girls. Maintain a jogi lifestyle. Try to meditate. Visit temples often. Go for jogging every morning. Do not try to think of her, neither that guy nor what happened when you were away. Stay on low profile. Keep yourself busy with work and school (if you r enrolled). If even after a year this incident haunts you, then you can't get over to it. Look for another girl and try to be honest with her. But I doubt you are not gonna get a first hand.
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ratoragat
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Posted on 01-14-11 2:32
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dude....ya she cheated on you.....leave her and find more hookers..........think how that guy bang her ........and bang many hookers as you can.........giv me number of ur ex-gf or whatever number dude.....i also wanna bang her
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Jai_Nepal
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Posted on 01-14-11 5:19
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Ross-Rachael Story from Friends!!!
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vaadgaule
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Posted on 01-14-11 5:21
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Mr. Dallasguy
She slept with another guy after she broke up with you. I bet, she cried when she slept with that guy. May be she wanted to take revenge and slept with another guy. She wanted vengeance and may be she rationalized. Here is the thing, you can either continue your relationship without pinching her about her wrongdoing or dump her. If you decide to get back with her, dont ever pinch her. Girl stay faithful as long as you make them happy...........
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sna
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Posted on 01-14-11 6:41
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those of u who think sleeping with a hooker and having a brief relationship is a same thing, y'all gotta find some chick and befriend. Seriously y'all kno nothing about girls.
@Dallasguy: ur girl dint just slept with that guy but also got herself emotionally attached to him, and deep inside her heart i am sure she still has this feeling that, no matter what, guy who was there for her when her own boyfriend ran like a coward also will always be there for her. and thats the same feeling which dragged her to his bed because girls dont get laid for nothing (i am assuming she's not a slut).weird?? believe me this is how it works in their mind. Now the rest is in your hand. And you r n @sshole
Last edited: 14-Jan-11 12:25 PM
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dallasguy
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Posted on 01-14-11 7:27
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thanks guys for your responses.....yes...i m in complete dilemma....I know I have been wrong at certain points but again, can i ever forgive her? I suppose, that incident shall haunt me for rest of my life.....
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chaurey
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Posted on 01-14-11 10:20
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Forgive her? for what? maybe you should be the one to ask for forgiveness, you are the one who went around fking whores when you split. you are a fkin pooosy! if you have any balls talk to her and let her know that you too went arnd fkin whores when you two were separate and see how it makes a difference.
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grgDai
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Posted on 01-14-11 10:30
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It's easy for girls to open up and have sex. for guys they have to find prostitutes because unless they are very handsome they can't get any girl just like that. but guys are desperate and they'll do any girl no matter how they look
guys get screwed all the time.
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chaurey
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Posted on 01-14-11 10:47
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what if the guy is very handsome but has a bad breath? and/or sweats profusely? and/or has a bad body odor? and/or is a broke ass? and/or is an a-hole? my point is being very handsome doesn't cut it all the time as you mentioned.
don't assume and say guys are desperate and do any girl.....would you do ugly betty if she spread her legs for ya? or how about jocelyn wildenstein? rosie o'donnell?
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grgDai
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Posted on 01-14-11 10:56
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Bravo chaurey you nailed it. You deserve a medal.
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