शिक्षकः FORD (फोर्ड) माने के हुन्छ ?
बिद्यार्थीः गाडी .....।
शिक्षकः गुड । अनि OX अक्स, अक्स माने ?
बिद्यार्थीः गोरु ।
शिक्षकः गुड । यसरी नै तिमीहरु राम्रो अंग्रेजी पढ्दै गयौ भने अक्सफोर्डमा पढ्न सक्छौ । अक्सफोर्ड भनेको थाहा छ ?
बिद्यार्थीः अक्सफोर्ड भनेको गोरुगाडी सर ।

Great trapping there!

LOL!

The judge asked the criminal (who was given death sentence):Do you have any final wish?
Criminal: Please hang yourself instead of me...

At 18 a lady is a football, 22 men after her.
At 28 a lady is a Basketball, 10 men after her.
At 38 a lady is a Golf ball, 1 man after her.
At 48 a lady is a TT ball, 1 man pushing her to the other.

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

dude..like dat 18..28..38..and 48 joke.....am laughing to death...keep on posting

love ghundruk ko jhol

Top 10 Things Only Women Understand

10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.

9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.

8. Crying can be fun.

7. FAT CLOTHES.

6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.

5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.

4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.

2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes. AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:

1. OTHER WOMEN!

College Vs High School
25. In high school, you do homework. In college you study.
24. No food is allowed in the hall in high school. In college, food must be provided at an event before students will come.
23. In high school, you wear your backpack on one shoulder; in college on both.
22. In college, the professors can tell you the answer withoutlooking at the teacher's guide.
21. In college, there are no bells or tardy slips.
20. In high school, you have to live with your parents. In college, you get to live with your friends.
19. In college, you don't have to wait in a certain lunch line to be cool.
18. Only nerds e-mailed in high school. (Cool kids hadn't heard of it.)
17. In high school, you're told what classes to take. In college, you get to choose; that is, as long as the classes don't conflict and you have the prerequisites and the classes aren't closed and you've paid your tuition.
16. In high school, if you screw up you can usually sweet-talk your way out of it. In college, you're lucky to ever talk with the professor.
15. In high school, fire drills are planned by the administration; in college, by the drunk frat boys on their way home when the bars close.
14. In college, any test consists of a larger percentage of your grade even than your high school final exams did.
13. In high school, when the teacher said, "Good morning," you mumbled back. In college, when the professor says, "Good morning," you write it down.
12. In high school, freshman guys hit on senior girls. In college, senior guys hit on freshman girls.
11. In college, weekends start on Thursday. 25. In high school, you do homework. In college you study.
24. No food is allowed in the hall in high school. In college, food must be provided at an event before students will come.
23. In high school, you wear your backpack on one shoulder; in college on both.
22. In college, the professors can tell you the answer withoutlooking at the teacher's guide.
21. In college, there are no bells or tardy slips.
20. In high school, you have to live with your parents. In college, you get to live with your friends.
19. In college, you don't have to wait in a certain lunch line to be cool.
18. Only nerds e-mailed in high school. (Cool kids hadn't heard of it.)
17. In high school, you're told what classes to take. In college, you get to choose; that is, as long as the classes don't conflict and you have the prerequisites and the classes aren't closed and you've paid your tuition.
16. In high school, if you screw up you can usually sweet-talk your way out of it. In college, you're lucky to ever talk with the professor.
15. In high school, fire drills are planned by the administration; in college, by the drunk frat boys on their way home when the bars close.
14. In college, any test consists of a larger percentage of your grade even than your high school final exams did.
13. In high school, when the teacher said, "Good morning," you mumbled back. In college, when the professor says, "Good morning," you write it down.
12. In high school, freshman guys hit on senior girls. In college, senior guys hit on freshman girls.
11. In college, weekends start on Thursday.

10. In college, it's much more difficult to figure out the course schedule of the man/woman you have a crush on in order to figure out where he/she will be walking around campus and at what time to find them there.
9. Once you've obtained the information described in #10 it's much more time-consuming to run between classes to that place where you know he/she will be in order to "just happen to bump into him/her."
8. In college, there's no one to tell you not to eat pizza three meals a day.
7. In college, your dad doesn't pay for dates.
6. In high school, it never took 3 or 4 weeks to get money from Mom and Dad.
5. College men are cuter than high school boys.
4. College women are legal.
3. In college, when you miss a class or two or three, you don't need a note from your parents saying you were skip....uh, sick that day.
2. In high school, you can't go out to lunch because it's not allowed. In college, you can't go out to lunch because you can't afford it.
1. In college, you can blow off studying by writing lists like this.

***i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

***God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested...

***terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers... and demanded aransom of 500000 rs or else they will burn them with kerosene... plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.

Woman has man in it, Mrs has Mr in it, female has male in it, Madam has adam in it, so girls r always incomplete without boys.

Wat's da definition of da bravest man in da world..?

A man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of perfume, and den slaps his wife on the backside and says, ''you're next, Fatty.''

love ghundruk ko jhol

A bus crashes full of ugly people. They all go to heaven.

God says they have one wish each. The first one wishes he is beautiful. The man at the back of the line laughs for a bit. The second one wishes the same as the first one. The man at the back laughs again.

This goes on until it comes the the guy at the end who is rolling with laugher.

God says him "what do you wish for?". He says "for all the people who wished to be beautiful to be ugly again".

Bihari Babu Jokes


) A Bihari after coming back from a three hour long class says:
Saala pura body headache maar raha hai

2) A Bihari goes to a movie hall and asks for two tickets,Do tho ticket dena,
the person at the window tells him that there is a house full, so this Bihari
says koi baat nahin do house full de do.

3) A Bihari went to New Delhi for the first time in his life. He went there
during the time of Asiad and was zapped to see all these new stadiums, newly
constructed roads, flyovers etc etc. The poor fellow hadn't seen all this ever
before. So when he came back to Aligarh people asked him as to how did he like
Delhi, he was too excited and said : yaar delhi to buhat top ka laga, pura
delhi chamak chamak raha tha, sab kuch jagmaga raha tha, sab shine maar raha
tha lekin yaar ek cheez hum understand nahin kar paye, yeh itta barka barka
speed breaker kahe ko bana diya hai (he couldn't figure out what is a flyover).

nepaalisathi keep on posting

SWEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Japanese Business

Four corporate presidents, one English, one French, one Japanese and one American, were on their way to an international business conference when they were kidnapped by terrorists and taken to a secret hideout.

"You, your companies, and you countries are enemies of the Revolution," screamed the terrorist leader, "and you're going to be executed! Do you have any last requests?"

The Englishman spoke first.

"Before I die, I want to honor my country and protest this barbaric act by singing "God Save The Queen" to all you men."

"That can be arranged," said the terrorist.

The Frenchman said, "And I want to honor my country before I die by singing "The Marseilles" to your men."

The Japanese said, "Before I die, I wish to honor my country by giving the lecture I was going to present on the Mapanese style of industrial management."

The terrorist turned finally to the American.

"What is your last request?"

The American replied, "I want you to kill me right now so I don't have to listen to another lecture on the Japanese style of industrial management!"

हिरो


एउटा भक्तपुरको ज्यापू हिरो बन्न मुम्बै गएछ । त्यहाँ निर्देशकले उसलाई सम्बाद बोल्न लगाएछ - तुम रोटी हो तो मे आटा हुँ । मे आटा हुँ तो तुम रोटी हो ।


ज्यापूले ट लाई त भन्दो रहेछ र ज्यापूले भनेछ - तुम रोती हो तो मे आता हुँ मे आता हुँ तो तुम रोती हो ।

2 sardarjis

A passerby watched two sardar's in a park. One was digging holes and the other was immediately filling them in again.

'Tell me,' said the passerby, 'what on earth are you doing?'

'Well,' said the one who was digging, 'usually there are three of us. I dig the hole, Hikmat plants the tree and Ujjar fills

in the hole. Today Hikmat is off ill, but that doesn't mean ujjar and I get the day off, does it?'

The Football Game


The big animals and the little animals decided to have a football game. In first half, the big animals were scoring at will. Every time they got the ball they scored.

Then came the second half...

First play: The elephant runs the ball up the middle. WAP!! suddenly it was Tackled.

The little animals go back to the huddle cheering and congratulating each other.

"Who made that tackle?" asked the ant.

"I did," said the centipede.

Second play: The rhinoceros runs the ball up the middle. WHOMP!! it was also Tackled and it fell five yard far.

Back in the huddle the flea asked, "Who made that great stop?" "I did," said the centipede.

Third play: The gorilla tries an end sweep, led by the hippo throwing the lead blocks. SMACK!! Centipede tackles him for a ten yard loss.

Back in the huddle, the gnat asked the centipede, "Where were you in the first half?"

The centipede replied, "Puttin' on my shoes!"