hiya folks,
Just a question to all married ppl in sajha. Were you guys had that feeling of fear of whatever you call.....commitment or future of yours? I am going through same feeling now. Its not that i dont want to get married. I love her and getting married on 18th of Feb...........There is all the excitment and sincerity is on the way.
One thing is bugging me a lot, is cant believe i am getting married. I am really scared now and cant sleep. The feeling of marriage just goes on my head...what about my life? what about the future? How it will turn up? will i have my personal space.
I really love this gal and i choose her up. It started off with the arrange things but Now it has turned into love in span of time. She is all, i want but just that fear within me is terrible.

Is this normal guys?
Help me out...........

Congrats man!!! I wish you all the best.

This is normal, I have the same butterfly in my stomatch. And to over come this is to think: "जो होगा देखाजएगा "

Marriage is a compromise. Don't marry just for the sake of marrying. If you are marrying someone you happen to fall in love just for the sake of marriage, congratualtions..

MOneyMinded:

Just resort to being Money Minded, rather than Marrige Minded....things should work out just fine.....

On a serious note.....its ok to be jittery....if you are not, then there might be a problem.......get over with it, it's gonna be alrite.....

Congrats moneyminded, I am due to get married to a girl who i am in love for last 9 years, on the 4th August, My date was fixed since last year but never felt anything untill end of jan, but as time comes nearer and nearer i feel the same way as you, i think its normal and the reason I am nervous is because there is no one to plan my wedding as I am getting married in London amd all my parents are in Nepal. I have to do everything on my own. Every day I get headache after hearing the cost of every thing (venue, food, transportation, Videography and Photography) they are friggin so expensive. Now more or less everything is sorted but still trying to find a good destination for honeymoon. After going through all this headache I definately need a relaxing honeymoon.

Hope everything will be fine.

i guess, fear comes up with inexperience. next time when you're getting married, the fear level that you're facing right now will substantially plummet :P

but on a more serious note, I KNOW NOTHING :P

perhaps it's natural to have some amount of fear because you are committing your life (everything) to A person. take a deep breath, try to forget all the episodes of broken hearts of the past and move on with positive frame of mind! look around people who have prospered after marriage and make lessons for yourself from the mistakes one has committed in their conjugal life. you will be fine.

all the best!

LooTe

Moneyminded,
Don't worry...it'll be wonderful...just enjoy and have fun....

Men you do not need to worry as long as you earn more money than your wife can ever spend. You will be happy!!! Just kidding!!!!

The fear before getting marry is all natural for everyone as I think. Lots of responsibilities and a it is a whole new thing. Sometimes you have to comromise things that you may not want to. But after all it is good things.

सर्ब प्रथम त बधाई छ । येदि पाट्नर बुझ्ने खाल्को छ भने भबिस्य राम्रो हुन्छ नत्र नर्क को बास ।

Congratulations.. Monyminded
Its very normal to have a fear of getting married when the time comes closer. I went through the same situation last summer. I was so overwhelmed by the thoughts of all responsibilities that come along with the marriage, but I knew that I truely loved my boyfriend(now husband) and was sure that he is the person I wanted to live my life with.
When I landed down to Nepal, I hardly had time to think about it and was all excited as my dream was coming true. It was hard to believe that my dream was coming true and but I knew everything things is going to be fine.

SO after we've been married for 7 months now, I still wonder if we've got married. The life has been the same, and we love eachother more everyday. Trust me everything will be alright and you would definately have a personal space which I think is important. Sometimes you just gotta do it becasue you choose to do so. Don't worry and have a relaxing sleep ;).

Once again CONGRATULATIONS AND GOOD LUCK

Congratulation.Life starts now.

May be your nick name creates a huge problem after marriage(Just kidding)

Have a good time ahead.

Good luck moneyminded. I am sure you will be fine, although I know nothing. Give it your best and leave the rest...and I am sure things will work our for you and you will live happily ever after.

Moneyminded...how long have you known this girl you are going to marry? I think your fear might be coming from the fact that you havent seen her in different situations. You are probably not sure how she will react to the changes, how you two will adjust with each other. I would say, just keep an open mind about things and expect the unexpected.

I just got married last week to my boyfriend of 4 years so I knew what I was getting. We had gone through a lot and know what to expect from the other. We were so busy planning the wedding ourselves, I dont think I stayed up wondering about how life is going to be in a month. We were too busy calling the vendors, meeting and arranging things. As your wedding is not that far away...try to talk to her a lot, see if she is feeling the same as you. It will help both of you feel better... You said you love the girl...I am sure you will be fine. And just as you need your personal space, she will need hers...so I wouldnt worry too much about that.

It happens only once (well, for most of us) so try to enjoy the day and think positive. Maybe you can start planning a surprise honeymoon too. She will be thrilled that you put so much thought in to it...and meanwhile, it will keep you busy. My fiance had planned a surprise trip for us and I didnt know where we were going till I got to the airport...I must say that was the best part. So, think about it...and dont be too moneyminded...j/k.

CONGRATULATIONS AND GOOD LUCK

नडरौनुस् एउटा ठट्टा सुन्नुस् ।
एउटा बुद्धिमानी केटो ले एउटा सर्है लाटो लाई सोधेछ ।
ओइ लाट वीहा गरे पछी कस्तो हुन्दो र छ ।
लाटा(तोत्ले स्वर मा)- तार्है आनन्द हुन्तो लछ ।

Kalebhut is 100% right. The biggest risk we ever take in life is- getting married. There is nothing bigger than this. We can always re-arrange or put back everything the way it was once we lose or break, but the marriage thing is impossible. Once we break this, we can never glue the pieces the way they were before. I'm also trying to get married. I am trying to to find someone thru arrange fashion. Tired of playing cat & mouse game. The fear factor is there not onl y for girls but also for guys. And ai'm a very liberal and reasonalble person. So, g'luck to all of us! :)

A crop bears innumerable number of grains yet not all have to germinate. Most of them are consumed by upper-level guys in the food chain, die, rot etc...

Anyway, getting back to the 'pwaint', not every couple necessarily have to succeed in a marriage, I mean they don't have to stay together forever. Have you guys ever thought of divorce lawyers out there whose survival is dependent on divorcing couples?
You know these divorce specialists also have to pay bills and/or have family to feed. So I hear a voice from above 'My child do not be afraid of the marriage. Enjoy the next seven years or till the waterfalls run dry'

Huu Haa!
;P

I think it is little different for girls and the guys. I haven't heard anything from my wife of 6 years about 'scary feeling' or 'getting scared' till now....but hell, I was scared like a pig being slaughtered !! As far as I can tell, life will take a drastic turn after your marriage... There will be less freedom when it comes to 'what you want to do' or where you want to hang out...but there will be things to enjoy...like cooking (trust me...you will enjoy it together !!), watching movie in your living room instead of in a Theatre (that will sometime be a Hindi movie), taking a long walk in the saturday morning in the beach and so on... I am sure you had done this with your GF but it will be different with your wife...and it will be different when you do the same thing with your pregnant wife or with your family.

Is it good or bad ? I don't know. It all depends on your perspective... and what you are looking for. I am happy because I feel that I was done being wild and untamed... I was ready for more subtle and serious life. That definitely came after my wife...and the kids :-)

Good luck and hope it will give you some insight of what might be coming...

Well thanks a lot for all the suggestion. I will be tying knot after 10 days. Onething for sure is like " Few days before marriage is better than one year love affari". Specillay I don belive now.....when your wedding lagan comes, you cant avoid. How many times i said i will be getting married? Finally, time came and now its happening. I think these things are already written in heaven.
May be San bro can keep some space for me on the Ramjham for the pictures. I am sure everyone wants to see MM wedding happening in Bhadrakali Temple. The party will be on the next day @ my working place 1905. If any sajha ppl in ktm pls do call me on my cell 9841333628, i dont want you guys miss all the action.

Well guys bless me .................specially when i am starting wine education and awarness. I am blessed by lot of ppl in nepal as first wine sommelier of nepal. I hope to have it acheived along with my wife who happens to be Microbiologist.

Thanks all the mate, sad to see lot of old sajhaties missing................missing like nivan, dhannah,rastafariyan,bathroom coffee, sandrust lahure, sitara, ashu, nepe, redston and lot more