Here are some dirty funny funny jokes if you wanna laugh your ass off.

Nun and a Truck Driver

A nun gets on a bus and sits behind the driver. She says to the bus driver she needs someone to talk to. She lives in a convent and wants to experience sex before she dies. The bus driver agrees but the nun explains she can't have sex with a married man because it would be a sin. The bus driver says no problem, he's not married.. The nun says she also has to die a virgin, so she has to take it in the ass. The bus driver agrees again and being the only two people on the bus they go in the back and take care of business. When they were done and he had resumed driving the bus driver said, Sister, I have a confession to make, I'm married and have three kid's." The nun replied, "That's O.K. I have a confession too. My name is Bruce and I'm on my way to a costume party.


Immigrants Eating Hot Dogs

Two guys immigrate to America. On their first day off the boat they are wandering around New York City seeing the sights. As lunch time approaches they decide they are hungry. They then come up to a street vendor selling hot dogs. One says to the other in a shocked tone, "My God - They eat dogs in America?"

"I can't believe it!" says the other, equally appalled.

"Well," says the first, "we're going to be Americans, so we must do as they do."

They approach the vendor bravely. "Two hot dogs, please." The vendor hands them their food in a pair of paper sacks. The two immigrants sit on a park bench to eat their lunch. One looks inside his sack, hesitates and turns to his partner and says, "Uh, which part of the dog did you get?"



Little Old Lady Making Bets

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day carrying a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the President of the bank to open a savings account because it's a lot of money. They finally get her into the presidents office and he asks her how much she would like to deposit. She says she has $165,000 and then dumps it out of the bag onto his desk. The president was surprised and of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asks her. The old lad says, "I make bets". The president replies, "Bets? What kind of bets?" and she says, "for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square". "Ha!" says the president, "That's a stupid bet, you can never win that kind of bet". The old lady says,"So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," says the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!" The little old lady says "OK, but since there is a lot of money involved is it OK with you if I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM to witness?" "Sure" says the president. That night the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again, thouroughly checking them out until he was sure that there is no way his balls are square and that he will win the bet. THe next morning at 10 AM the little old lady appears with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduces the lawyer to the president and repeats the bet, that $25,000 says the president's balls are square. The president agrees with the bet again and the old lady asks him to drop his pants so they can see. The president does this. THe little old lady looks closely at his balls and then asks if she can feel them. "Well, OK" says the president, $25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure". Then he notices that the lawyer is quietly banging his head against the wall and he asks the old lady , "What is wrong with your lawyer?" She replies, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that by 10 AM today I'd have The Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hands!"

hahaha !!!!!!!!!!
Pink you are so awesome:) :) I love these jokes:P :P (wink,wink)
Immigrant hot dog one is not as good as the other too but it's still good!
and the last one, i love it how you say little old lady instead of just old lady that's really cute:P :P

Nails how old are you hun?

Rythm - it's fun to break the rules sometimes!! :) (wink,wink)
to answer your question - only 17 :P :P

Nothing new !!

these aren't funny like the others but just crackin'

Bouncing Up and Down

This little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh..well...ah....well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again." And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!" His mom says, "Why?!?" And the boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!"


Flashing Wife

A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the bell. The wife answers.
"Hi, is Tony home?"
"No, Chris, he went to the store."
"Well, do you mind if I wait?"
"No, come on in."
They sit down and the friend says, "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I've ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."
Sara thinks about this for a second and figures, what the hell, a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows him one. He thanks her and promptly throws a hundred bucks on the table.
They sit there a while longer and Chris says, " They are just so beautiful! I've got to see them both. I'll give you another hundred if I could just see them both together."
Sara say what the hell, opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her and throws another hundred bucks on the table and says he can't wait any longer for Tony and leaves.
A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says, "You know, your weird friend Chris came over."
Tony thinks about this for a second and says, "Well, did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"



Farmer in Training

Once there was this doctor that moved out to the country to become a farmer. He said to himself, "Well, since I'm going to have a farm, I'd might as well have animals on it." So the doctor got in his truck to go looking. Along the way, he spotted a sign saying, "Cocks 4 Sale." He pulled over and asked the farmer what a cock was. "A cock is a rooster," the farmer replied. So the doctor bought a cock and put it in the back of his truck. The doctor continued on his way until he saw a sign saying, "Pullets 4 Sale." The doctor pulled over and asked the farmer what a pullet was. "A pullet is a hen," the farmer replied. "But sometimes a cock and pullet will fight, so watch out." So the doctor thanked the farmer and went on his merry way. Down the road a bit, there was another sign saying, "Asses 4 Sale." So the doctor pulled over again to ask. "An ass is a donkey," the farmer repied. "But watch out because this donkey is different. If he gets scared, he'll sit down and won't move until you scratch his belly." The doctor thanked this farmer and turned around to head home. Well, in the road was a broken bottle and the doctor's truck ran over it. Pop!!!! The sound made the cock and pullet started to fight and the donkey sat on the spare tire. A lady just happened to be passing by and asked if the doctor needed help. The doctor, wanting to sound like a professional farmer, replied, "Yes, I need help. Will you please hold my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass???"


Little Boy's Truck & Little Girl's Garage

A little boy and girl are sittin in a sandbox when they both stood up and their pants fell off and they asked each other "whats that" pointing to their private parts. They both ran home and the little boy asked his father what his penis was and dad answered, "thats your truck, try to park it in as many garages as you can." The little girl asked her mother the same question and her mother said, "that's your garage. Don't let any boy park his truck there." So the next day the little girl comes running home yelling "mommy, mommy, a boy tried to park his truck in my garage so i knocked his wheels off!"

Boy Pink, u'r the shit dude!

hahaha Pink

At a restaurant, one of the customers noticed that all of the waiters had two spoons in their vest pockets.

Upon being asked, one waiter said, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware are spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement."

Then the customer noticed that a string was hanging out of all the waiters' flies and asked what the string was for.

"The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explained the waiter, "that way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims right away. Then we don't have to stop to wash our hands."

The customer asked, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?"

The waiter whispered confidentially, "I don't know about the others, but I use the two spoons."

Need censorship.....HEHEHEHE

I've seen the video for the one where the friend owes the husband 200 dollars, its frikkin hot. the wife's just amazing.

Pinku - where are the rest of 18+ jokes ke? :) wanna hear more! :D

Nails,
what are you doing here, baby? You are just SEVEN; these 18+ jokes are not suitable for you, my little Bhanji..

:D

they aren't so funny but somethin' is better than nothin
so

crack some more ........

here is one of my favs:

One bright Sunday morning Cindy and Mark took their eight year old son, Johnny, to church. They sat right in the front so Johnny could get all the benefits from church. But as we know eight year old boys do not like church at all. Especially little Johnny. Halfway through the pastor's sermon Johnny fell asleep. The pastor noticed this, and it was distracting him from preaching. He decided to go over to Johnny and ask him a question about God.

"Son, do you know who created all the heavens and earth?"
His mother, Cindy, who did not want to be embarrassed by her son falling asleep, stuck a pin in her son's right butt cheek.

"GOD!!!!" Cried little Johnny.

"Very good," the pastor replied. For he could not say it was wrong. And he continued on. But a short while later, Johnny fell asleep again. The pastor once again noticed this and decided to ask another question,

"Who was Mary and Joseph's son?" The pastor asked.

Johnny's dad, Mark, did not want to be embarrassed either, so he stuck a pin in his son's left butt cheek.

"JESUS CHRIST!!!!" Yelled Johnny.

And once again the pastor replied "Very good."
Near the end of the church service, Johnny could not control himself and fell asleep again. For the last time, the pastor decided to embarrass him and ask a very hard question.

"What did Eve say to Adam on the morning when they woke up on the first day?"

But before Johnny's parents could do anything Johnny shouted,
"IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'M GOING TO TAKE IT AND BREAK IT IN HALF!"

lfc le aafnai katha suna jasto chha :P

mr. lonley
i don't resemble little jonny. i am a girl, FYI.

hehe...balla tha bho ;)

Hey

IFC you are no girl

I know that

I am hungry and I want Chicken MOMO, NOW!!!! :))))))))))))