My Racist Encounter at the White House Correspondents' Dinner

Seema Jilani

Physician reporting from Afghanistan
 

The faux red carpet had been laid out for the famous and the wannabe-famous. Politicians and journalists arrived at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, bedazzled in the hopes of basking in a few fleeting moments of fame, even if only by osmosis from proximity to celebrities. New to the Washington scene, I was to experience the spectacle with my husband, a journalist, and enjoy an evening out. Or at least an hour out. You see, as a spouse I was not allowed into the actual dinner. Those of us who are not participating in the hideous schmooze-fest that is this evening are relegated to attending the cocktail hour only, if that. Our guest was the extraordinarily brilliant Oscar-nominated director of Beasts of the Southern Wild, Benh Zeitlin. Mr. Zeitlin's unassuming demeanor was a refreshing taste of humility in a sea of pretentious politicians reeking of narcissism.

As I left the hotel and my husband went to the ballroom for the dinner, I realized he still had my keys. I approached the escalators that led down to the ballroom and asked the externally contracted security representatives if I could go down. They abruptly responded, "You can't go down without a ticket." I explained my situation and that I just wanted my keys from my husband in the foyer and that I wouldn't need to enter in the ballroom. They refused to let me through. For the next half hour, they watched as I frantically called my husband but was unable to reach him.

Then something remarkable happened. I watched as they let countless other women through -- all Caucasian -- without even asking to see their tickets. I asked why they were allowing them to go freely when they had just told me that I needed a ticket. Their response? "Well, now we are checking tickets." He rolled his eyes and let another woman through, this time actually checking her ticket. His smug tone, enveloped in condescension, taunted, "See? That's what a ticket looks like."

When I asked "Why did you lie to me, sir?" they threatened to have the Secret Service throw me out of the building -- me, a 4'11" young woman who weighs 100 pounds soaking wet, who was all prettied up in elegant formal dress, who was simply trying to reach her husband. The only thing on me that could possibly inflict harm were my dainty silver stilettos, and they were too busy inflicting pain on my feet at the moment. My suspicion was confirmed when I saw the men ask a blonde woman for her ticket and she replied, "I lost it." The snickering tough-guy responded, "I'd be happy to personally escort you down the escalators ma'am."

Like a malignancy, it had crept in when I least expected it -- this repugnant, infectious bigotry we have become so accustomed to. "White privilege" was on display, palpable to passersby who consoled me. I've come to expect this repulsive racism in many aspects of my life, but when I find it entrenched in these smaller encounters is when salt is sprinkled deep into the wounds. In these crystallizing moments it is clear that while I might see myself as just another all-American gal who has great affection for this country, others see me as something less than human, more now than ever before.

When I asked why the security representatives offered to personally escort white women without tickets downstairs while they watched me flounder, why they threatened to call the Secret Service on me, I was told, "We have to be extra careful with you all after the Boston bombings."

I explained that I am a physician, that my husband is a noted journalist for a major American newspaper, and that our guest was an esteemed, Oscar-nominated director. They did not believe me. Never mind that the American flag flew proudly outside of our home for years, with my father taking it inside whenever it rained to protect it from damage. Never mind that I won "Most Patriotic" almost every July 4th growing up. Never mind that I have provided health care to some of America's most underprivileged, even when they have refused to shake my hand because of my ethnicity.

I looked at him, struggling to bury my tears beneath whatever shred of dignity that remained. They finally saturated my lashes and flood onto my face. Shaking with rage, I said, "We are all human beings and I only ask that you give me the same respect you give others. All I am asking is to be treating with a dignity and humanity. What you did is wrong." They stared straight ahead, arms crossed, and refused to even look at me. Up came the cruel, xenophobic, soundproof wall that I had seen in the eyes of so many after 9/11. Their eyes, flecked with disdain and hatred, looked through me.

The next affront came quickly thereafter. "You were here last year, weren't you? You caused trouble here last year too. I know you," they claimed, accusing me of being a party-crasher. Completely confused, I explained that this was my first time here and that I had no idea what he was referencing. Clearly, he had assumed all brown people look the same and had confused me for someone else.

I wonder what their reaction would have been to a well-dressed white woman trying to reach her husband. Would she have struggled for over an hour while they watched and offered to escort others in? Would they not have extended an offer to help, bended over backwards to offer assistance, just as they did with the woman who "lost her ticket"? Would the Boston bombings even be mentioned to a white woman?

Let's stop this facade that we are a beacon of tolerance. I don't need you to "tolerate" me. I don't want you to merely put up with my presence. All I ask, all I have ever asked, is to be treated as a human being, that bigoted jingoism is not injected into every minute facet my life, that there remains at least the illusion of decency.

Despite being a native English speaker who was born in New Orleans and a physician who trained at a prestigious institution, all people see is the color of my skin. After this incident, I will no longer apologize, either for my faith or my complexion. It is not my job to convince you to distinguish me from the violent sociopaths that claim to be Muslims, whose terrorism I neither support, nor condone. It is your job. Just like when a disturbed young white man shoots up a movie theatre or a school, it is my job, as someone with a conscience, to distinguish them from others. It's not my job to plead with you to shake my hand without cringing, nor am I going to applaud you when you treat me with common decency; it's not an accomplishment. It's simply the right thing to do. Honestly, it's not that hard.

This year, Quvenzhané Wallis took the world by storm with her staggering performance in Beasts of the Southern Wild. At several award ceremonies, reporters refused to the learn the accurate pronunciation of her name, and one reporter allegedly told Wallis, "I'm gonna call you Annie," because her name was too difficult to pronounce. If reporters can learn to pronounce Gerard Depardieu and Monique Lhuillier then surely they can take the time to learn how to pronounce Quvenzhané. It's not hard; it's just not deemed worthy of your energy because she is someone of color.

A school child recently threatened my 12-year-old niece claiming, "I'm going to kill you Miss Bin Laden." Again, it is not my job to teach your children manners and social justice, to remove the disgusting threads of racism that you have woven into their hearts with your insecurities. Last week, a 39-year-old Muslim American cab driver who served in the Iraq war was attacked and had his jaw broken in a hate crime. The assailant, an executive from an aviation company, told the veteran "I will slice your [Disallowed String for - bad word]ing throat right now." I suppose the "support the troops" rhetoric by the right only applies to white veterans.

It wasn't enough that I have had to prove my "American-ness" at every step of my career, but now the next generation is suffering as well. It wasn't enough that I was asked whether my father taught me how to make bombs, or that I was told that I was doomed to the seventh circle of hell during my medical school interviews. I was also asked whether I would wear a burqa or if my parents would arrange my marriage during interviews. It is outrageous that I have to actually prove to the world how horrified I am that an 8-year-old boy was brutally murdered by a terrorist bombing. Any normal human being feels this agonizing grief with the rest of the country. I do not have to prove to you that, I, too, find it morally reprehensible. Of course I do. I have a heart. I am human.

So, I no longer want a seat at your restaurant, where you serve me begrudgingly, where I am belittled for asking for food without pork, where I endure your dirty looks at my hijabi friend. I want my pride intact, I want this struggle of mine to be recognized, for you to look me in the eye and acknowledge that yes, this tumor called bigotry is indeed rivering through your veins, polluting your mind, and is so malignant that it compels you to squash my dignity.

It's the little indignities that slowly devastate your soul. The ones where your guard is down, and you just expect to dress up, look pretty, and enjoy an evening as a newlywed, or at the Oscars, but instead end up humiliated and snubbed. The ubiquitous racist slap in the face is thinly veiled just beneath the carefully crafted façade. This filthy, highly infectious plague is transforming our nation into one of unwarranted suspicion and anguish inflicted on disenfranchised, voiceless people of color. And now, it is no longer my job to enlighten you. To quote what you so often tell ethnic communities, "It's time for you to step up to the plate, take responsibility, and stop taking what I have earned," my integrity, my dignity.

 

That is pretty crazy. The boston bombers were not brown to begin with. There is inherent problem with some white folks who think they are superior to all other races, and they try to blow the horn of democracy and non discrimination like a piece of hypocrits.

Not all white folks are like that but there are some who do that because of their own insecurities. They would be the ones in position to protect against sexual assaults but themselves sexually assaulting women.

Thanks for the post. Unbelievable.,.I think she shouldn't feel bad for the shortcomings of those narrow minded, ignorant f**ks. She should've just recorded the whole ordeal while she waited for her husband and then sued the daylights out of the security company. Hell, she wouldn't even have to do that, she could've just released the video on Youtube and other social media with "White House Correspondent Dinner" hashtag.

What a powerful article! Thanks for sharing, vivant! Privilege indeed blinds one to others' realities.

 I also think that HuffPost should've made this story more prominent rather that hide it in some obscure link. I think its more important that Kardashians showing up on the red carpet..

Blame it on husband, who would subject spouse to this.

Why didnot they have two sets of keys?

 The husband probably drove her car and kept the keys.

Ironic that this  happend to a person who appears to have tried her best - perhaps even gone overboard - to fit in and be accepted by Americans as one of them.

Here is another story -- except this one has a happier ending -- but it still speaks to the difficulty people of Arab, Middle Easter and South Asian descent currently face in the US.

Algerian-American assaulted outside restaurant, apparently because of his North African ancestry

Muslims targeted, group charges

Algerian-American assaulted outside restaurant, apparently because of his North African ancestry
“They messed with the wrong dude,” Hadjeres said. “Their faces were pretty banged up.”

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/2013/05/06/algerian-american-assaulted-outside-restaurant-apparently-because-his-north-african-ancestry/ylSpO4qfaAnZ9vToYbivSJ/story.html

I find it amazing while we come from the most racist of societies out there and tolerate so much (Nepal, India), we cannot seem to tolerate anything remotely racist while in a western country.

I mean come on. The West is egalitarian and meritocratic to a VERY large extent and we can of course condemn racism, but i just love it when we show this holier than thou attitude. :) Just saying.  

Tolerate racism? That's a total cop out. Sorry but that's what the slaves did before they finally had it. No, it needs to be confronted wherever it exists - America, Nepal or wherever else you live. "Tolerating" such abuse only empowers the perpetrators. Give such people a finger and they'll take an arm. Soon they'll have you believing all sort of crap about yourself -  look around Sajha and it's not hard to find emotionally and intellectually beaten-up people convinced of their own low self-worth because they were either unable or unwilling to stand up to prejudice and bullying.

Also, just because Nepal has it's share of prejudice does not make prejudice in America acceptable. That's a level of subservience that let's hope no one in America - Nepalese, other Asians, Black, Hispanics - stoops to.

What's new here in this article? Nothing. Just some good english vocabulary that I don't understand and don't want to understand.  The message is there. Ya'll watch too much TV and government likes it. If in Nepal, some guy from Romania had bombed somewhere..what ya'all would do to a white looking guy? You'd see him as a suspect even though he may be from romania or iceland or uk or us. Its the same here, especially when the faces are shown in TV headlines for weeks. Just because people are born here and speak the language does not mean that they belong here in the society. If that was the case, jews would not die in germany. Here we all are new, probably since last 100 years mixing with regular white people in their own society. They've been doing great since the last 100 years and they tolerate and so they need you. The day it comes that they can't handle you, you'll be thrown out just like people from nepali origin were thrown out of Bhutan when their need expired. Its natural. Deal with it. Curse your parents if not, for enabling you to think. There's no medicine to this disease of racism. Its been going on forever since 100s and 100s of years and still will continue. 

I am not sure if there is anything new in this article Beautifool, but it was a good read at the least, from someone erudite enough that Hufflington Post cared to post her article.

But now that you replied on this thread, you tell us what is new? Tell us something we already do not know.

The new thing is you replied to my post and thanks. What do you want to hear tell me and I'll reply the way you want. What new stuff you want to know that I may be able to tell you. A new thing to me may look old thing to you so you tell me what excites you and I may find something new for you.

If you gonna ask what's new then all the news itself is same thing happening to different people so nothing is really new. If you want to talk philosophy we can always talk about nothing all day long.

Uh...a little humiliy might work. :)

 Good enough. End of discussion.

 You don't have to use "hard to understand" words to express your feelings. You don't have to be accurate among people who's second language is english. I dislike people using dictionary in sajha because not everyone understand what you're saying and so who do you benefit? Selected group of people who can understand you? Why such a selective attitude in your writing? May be this is my new thing that you can discuss. Why not use simple to understand language instead of picking up GRE words? And that also in Sajha..who are you communicating with in here with such complexes language and word? Why you're leaving behind the people who can't understand more than simple english?

I thought we were speaking of Jilani beautifool.

It is not the selective attitude if you pardon my uncouthness, now if you were referring to me, I call it articulation, and when I do that, GRE is the last thing on my mind, quite honestly, I do not even remember when I took that test.

Again, if Jilani would have simply written 'I hate whites because they are racists only when they didn't allow me to enter the party', it would have catered to the attention of less people, and her credibility as a narrator would have been questioned.

Could she have written with less difficult words (I tried to use the term esoteric, but oh well)? Possibly. But would it have been an interesting read? I am not sure.

I am certain that there will be few who would read and applaud Jilani if she would have written ' this jackass security guard didn't let me in, may he rot in hell' or 'I am sad that whites think all browns are terrorists'. Now if you prefer this language instead of the one she has used in her post, I have nothing to say.