I dread the idea of marriage in Nepal, not because I want to avoid committing to my wonderful boyfriend but because I’d like to avoid certain aspects of Nepali weddings:

1)    The guest list.

In the west, when friends got married they invited the people they wanted to share their special day with. In Nepal, it’ll be more of our parents’ guest list since they’ll be fulfilling a social obligation… which means there will be hundreds of people I don’t really know who I don’t really want at my wedding.

I’ve always wanted a small wedding – something intimate, close, and personal but being Nepali and getting married in Nepal, I don’t see how that’s even possible.

2)    Social obligation

Inviting everyone is more of a social obligation than something you want to do. Hundreds of people will be invited because you feel like you have to invite them and I bet most of them don’t want to attend but they make an appearance for the same reason they were sent an invitation card.

Why not just skip the hassle on both sides? It’ll make weddings here far more cost effective for the family and guests won’t have to worry about shelling out some money or wrapping something to be re-gifted.

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3)    Attire/décor

I have yet to attend a simple Nepali wedding/wedding party. Everything is so flashy and over the top. And there’s always my qualm over the bride – if she’s married in white, the dress ends up being something out of a tacky Disney princess rip off and if she’s in red – it’s a hot mess.

I don’t understand why a bride is decked in red with red with red from head to toe. And a generous splattering of gold (if the family can afford it) – I sure would not feel comfortable or beautiful so why would I want to get married in it?

Also, there’s usually a sever lack of nice decoration, and if the hall/hotel is decorated it looks like it could also be a kid’s birthday party. Why?

4)    Location

Hotels or party palaces? I’ll take neither. Though I’ve been to a few matrimonial celebrations in hotels that were decent, I’d like to find a nicer spot for the ceremony and after party… can I have an outdoor wedding in Godavari’s garden?

Also, the fugly sporks (you know, the spoon/fork utensil present at ALL WEDDINGS) that all party palaces seem to overstock on just take any class out of the wedding.

5)    Something lacking in Nepali weddings that I really like about western weddings – the toasting! There aren’t any sit down aspects of weddings here, except for guest strewn about gorging on the buffet, and I think that’s unfortunate.

I love the idea of family and friends sitting down together in one room, letting speeches be given, and letting the families actually come together through the union of their children. But in Nepal it seems to be a horrid “throne” people walking up to give gifts and short wishes and then off to the buffet line they go.

There’ll be no red throne/sofa for me please.

6)    A happy bride

I don’t believe that my wedding day will be the happiest day of my life – I hope it’s just a beginning, but I’d at least want a huge smile on my face for the day I’m united with my man.

However, I have yet to see a glowing Nepali bride. They always look exhausted, slightly irrigated, and mostly zoned out – or is it supposed to be an introduction to marriage? Haha. Just kidding. But really, I don’t plan on being a demure, bashful bride, lowering my head and fulfilling my “duties”. I want to enjoy every second of the day where I get to be surrounded by wellwishers and people I love!

Also, it’s my wedding day, not an annual event, why shouldn’t brides have a grand time?

All that to say, I don’t hate Nepali weddings, in fact, I like that weddings here aren’t given more importance than the marriage (since, you know, that’s kind of the point of the wedding) but since the ceremony is going to happen anyways why can’t we make them more tasteful and enjoyable for more than just obligatory drunk guys.

I intend to.

Saani has no real goals and aspirations but she sees opportunity in everything and goes with the flow. This is probably because she loves exploring and discovering. She writes for fun but for the same reason she also cooks, reads, and spends a lot of time on random websites that offer a chance to learn all sorts of tid-bits on life.