Wanted to see if anyone's been in this position too. I have been living in US for 6 years, few years of married life and 1 year ago my in-laws came to visit us and now they do not want to leave.

I have respect for my wife's parents but I did not get married so that I have to live with her parents 

On the other hand, I feel myself to be a traditional guy and if my parents decide to come live with me, then I feel like my wife has to accomodate them since that is how a normal family works in Nepal. But my parents have no desire to come live here.

I find this a bit hypocritical that I don't want to live with her parents but would expect her to live with my parents, and feel awkward about talking about it but if they decide to stay here permanently then it's going to be tough.

 Ouch, that's tough my friend.  

You need to have an honest conversation with your wife.

On one hand, who wants to live with one's in-laws.  On other hand, you are asking exactly the same of your wife.  The latter is traditionally accepted and, in your case, might not be the case in future anyway.  

I feel your pain, brother.  Let us know how it goes.

I am living with my in-laws from last few years. And so far, i never had any issue.. Moreover i get help from them in so many things.. We hardly have anyone in US.. so my friend.. this is your oppertunity to keep your people closer. People hardly gets such chance..
I know its tough but its managable.

Hey Lata, Learn to turn obstacles into opportunites na. 

If you need babies, make it right away, two or three in a row. And let them baby-sit and you guys can ENJOY.

In your particular case, there must be something else you might wanna do. Just think and you'll find How to USE them.

And learn to Respect people, don't say they are from my wife's side of family. Bla bla. 

Above all, whats your life partner thinks about this matter?
Remember! Her happiness is your Happiness.


Good luck. 

SIS-- "Hey Lata, Learn to turn obstacles into opportunites na"... Likes yo, reminded me of a girl I had crush on, chweet

I can imagine what you are going through and I think you need to change something here.

First of all, our culture has made it acceptable for a family to live with the groom’s side of family but kind of awkward to live with wife’s side. This is not your fault so it is not abnormal for you to feel strange. In our culture, son-in-laws are respected and that respect is hard to maintain when somebody lives so close to the that person, although it is not impossible. I also don’t think it is selfish of you to think it the way you are thinking, given our cultural norm.

Having said that, you cannot just ask your in-laws to leave. While it is strange that they are there for this long, there must be a reason why they aren’t going back home. Keep respect and cultures aside and think of them as two elderly people who want to live with you. They are also just not anybody, they are your wife’s folks so you have a responsibility here too. Given this, you have to take care of them and not ask to leave when they are with you.

But, like I said this awkwardness has to go away and thus you need change. A change could be in physical condition, i.e. they leave you, but this is not acceptable like I just mentioned earlier. Another change, which is more apt here, is a change in your thinking. You now have to accept that they are here for a long run. Like SIS and Chisomaan said, they could help you with many things, specially when you have kids. They are the family that you won’t have if they leave you in this far land. Take them as perk, not burden. Learn to enjoy their company, not disdain from it. Give them the respect they deserve and you will be happy.

Good luck.

This one may help ya further bro

http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=US#/watch?xl=xl_blazer&v=qUAE0aYrUBA

Mr. Patan-- i think your in-laws may also be feeling guilty inside for staying with you; it might just be that they can't afford to lease another apartment; or they might be afraid to move out now; or they might be planning. If this is not the case forgive my ignorance.

Hey , how many bedroom apartment is that?
If thats 2; its your mistake. 

I am guessing you do not have any baby otherwise you would not be blogging here. I know a gentleman called his mom and even filed green card to take care of baby so they can work and save money.
Due to Maoist threat they had to move, stayed together, No major issues. 

If your wife had to live with her in laws (your parents) for 6 years...what do you think she would do? would she talk to you about it? Would she sometimes utter how everyone else is on their own and she had to live with in - laws with constant awakardness and respect? If you think the answer is YES, then you should as well talk to your wife about it.

You have not said, what caused in laws to live with you for 6 years. Is your spouse their only child? Do they have financial crisis at home? Were they persecuted back home thus can't  live back there? Do they have medical condition that they cannot live on their own???

I have seen great son in laws who are taking care of their in laws because the parents are in dire need of assistance and i have also seen in laws who just don;t give a fk about Jwain and when they come to your house, they think they are coming to their daughters house, ofcourse, the daughter is the bully in the house as well. Those in laws are shameless and " jabarjasti" kinds who have no repect for the Jwain.

Bottom line, if my in laws want to live with me for 6 years, they better have a good damn reason to do so.

A year is a long time.. I would neither want to live with my parents nor hers for so long. I love having them over for couple of months. More than that is a turture for both side. This is because parents on both side are healthy enough to take care of themselves. Only time will tell what will happen in future.

 Hi Patan

I don't have advise specifically about what you should or should not do in regards to your in-laws but let me say this: don't worry about being called this or that. Name calling is a weapon some people use to try and control others who have the balls to make choices that are different from theirs. You pick: a happy hypocrite or a  miserable virtuoso?  

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best. 

No offense but I found this thread a bit amusing - someone is 'sufferred' by in-laws .. and seeks online help.

Long live Internet ! :)

Hi, Patan bro,
I have been living with my in-laws since last six years and I have found them very helpful, supportive. Actually they helped me raise my kids while both myself and my spouse went to work. All these years they have given me a feeling of security. There are hundreds of things that I could not have done or achieved if they were not with us. I have regarded this as a blessing. It is true that after staying for so long sometimes there are small misunderstandings but this is human. I find myself very lucky that even in a foreign country my children had the opportunity to grow themselves under a pair of caring and loving hand. Sometimes I feel that I must have done something good in my previous life that I am bestowed with such a wonderful blessing in this life !
Long live my in-laws !!!
P.S. - Cases vary from person to person. The above was solely mine.