..

1st-year students at Texas A&M's Vet school were receiving their first Anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the
Surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor Started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary Medicine it is
Necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is That you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body. For an
Example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the Butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go
Ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students Freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the Dead cow and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked At
them and said, "The second most important quality is observation. I Stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to Pay attention.

"Life's tough, it's even tougher if you're stupid."

..............

 

cool joke..........

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
good one there bc. :D. where did you pull this out from? Texas A&M and vet school? hmm...quite a reference there. just wondering if it's a true story and the students had to go through all that in real..jeez. :P

"Life's tough, it's even tougher if you're stupid."

very true.

nice one,

for a gloomy day,

Strike tha  CLOWNING glory again!!....thats why i will neva be absence to disciple when BC`s ( Phd of  Sajha) ..prevails!!

जै सझ जै णेपल्

 

 

new bachelors  bed!!

"The Obedient Wife"

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real "miser" when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife..."When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,

"Wait just a moment!"
She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away. So her friend said,

"Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him."
You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?"
"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it."

LOL!

Came across this one the other day:


A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway When he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. 

She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady,

" Why don`t you eat the peanuts yourself?".

"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.

The puzzled driver asks,"Why do you buy them then?"

The old lady replied,  "We just love the chocolate around them."

LMAO!! That was indeed hilarious. Thanks for sharing CH!

Here's one redneck joke:

"You've just had your twelvth baby miss. What are you going to name this one?"

"Phil"

"But you named the last eleven phil"

"Yeah its great. I say phil go clean the room, they all go clean their room. I say phil come for dinner, they all come for dinner."

"But what if you only want one of them?"

"Oh! Then I call them by thier last name."

Another redneck joke:

A redneck family are visiting a big city for the first time.

The father ans son are in the hotel lobby when the spot an elevator.

"What's that Paw?" The boy asked.

"I ain't never did see nothin' like that in my life" Replied the father.

Seconds later an old frail woman walks in the hotel door and hobbles to the elevator. She presses the button with her cain, waits for the doors to open and gets in.

The father and son, still amazed by this contraption, continue to watch.

They hear a ping noise and the doors open again. Out steps a beauiful 20 year old busty blonde.

The father looks at his son and says "Go get your Maw !"

liked peanuts and phil

This message is to provoke your mind to think whether you want the status quo to be perpetuated. If you want to do your bit to effect a chan ge for the better, think well before you vote if there has next general election.

 

> >
> >
> > This joke can be enjoyed by everyone. Not only that . It is
> > politically
> > correct and with a moral lesson.
> >
> > VOTE WISELY IF THERE IS ON COMING ELECTION IN NEPAL!
> >
> > ============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
> >
> > While walking down the street one day a  Minister is
> > tragically hit by a truck and dies.
> >
> > His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Maiden at the entrance.
> >
> > "Welcome to heaven," says St. Maiden. "Before you settle in, it seems
> > there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these
> > parts,
> > you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
> >
> > "No problem, just let me in," says the man.
> >
> > "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do
> > is have
> > you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose
> > where to spend eternity."
> >
> > "Really, I have made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the
> > Honourable
> >Minister
> >
> > "I'm sorry, but we have our rules," says St. Maiden.
> >
> > And with that, St. Maiden escorts him to the elevator and he goes
> > down,
> > down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the
> > middle of
> > a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in
> > front
> > of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with
> > him.
> >
> > Everyone is very happy and dressed in the finest batik there is.
> > They run
> > to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times
> > they
> > had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a
> > friendly
> > game of golf and then indulge themselves on lobsters, caviar and the
> > most
> > expensive food there is.
> >
> > Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has
> > a good
> > time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time
> > that
> > before he realizes it, it is time to go.
> >
> > Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator
> > rises.
> >
> >
> > The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where
> > St.
> >  Maiden is waiting for him.
> >
> > "Now it' s time to visit heaven."
> >
> > So, 24 hours pass with the Honourable Minister joining a group of
> > contented
> > souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They
> > have
> > a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by
> > and St.
> > Maiden returns.
> >
> > "Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now
> > choose
> > your eternity."
> >
> > TheHonourable Minister reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I
> > would
> > never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I
> > think Ai
> > yam better off in hell."
> >
> > So St. Maiden escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down,
> > down to
> > hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a
> > barren
> > land covered with waste and garbage.
> >
> > He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and
> > putting
> > it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
> >
> > The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.
> >
> > "I don't understand," stammers the Honourable Minister. "Yesterday I was
> > here
> > and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and
> > caviar,
> > drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a
> > wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What
> > happened?"
> >
> > The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
> > campaigning
> > just like you during an election.... .. Today you voted."
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
>
>

To hoom it mae cunsern,   I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.   <FONT face=Consolas color=black size=4>I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person,  Pepole really seam to respond to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.   Im lookin for a Jobb as a reporter but it musent be to complicaited.   I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety.  My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,   I can start imeditely.  Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.   hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.   Sinseerly,   BRYAN…nikname  berayay  PS :  Because my resimay is a bit short

 as sum of tha real typycal down to south mother India`s obriginals gal say.....u r karaq Sarr....

                                                         

 

                             History Lesson

             Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.

          Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
          John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

           Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
            John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

           Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
           Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

            Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
            Both Presidents were shot in the head.

            Now it gets really weird.

            Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
            Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

            Both were assassinated by Southerners.
            Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

             Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
             Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

             John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
             Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

 

             Both assassins were known by their three names.
             Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

              Now hang on to your seat.

              Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
               Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'

           Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
           Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

             Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

              And here's the kicker...

              A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
              A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

 

                  Creepy huh? Send this to as many people as you can, cause: Hey, this is one

                 history lesson people don't mind reading.

 

wow this is one history lesson i really enjoyed......but its creepy