Here is a funny one...called Surprise!!!!
Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked
beans.
She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very
embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.
Then one day she met a man and fell in love.
When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to
herself,
"He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this
carrying on." She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work.
Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told
him that she would be late because she had to walk home.
On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked
beans
was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk,
she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time
the
reached home.
So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had
consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she
putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she
could
control it.
Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly,
Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table.
She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the
blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise
not to
touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the
telephone.
The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her
and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while
her husband was out of the
room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg
and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a
fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill.
She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously.
Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more,which
reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the
conversation in the other room,she went on like this for another
ten
minutes.
When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom,
she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on
her
lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to
herself.
She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned,
apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked,
and she assured him that she had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!!
There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish
her a "Happy Birthday"!!!
